When sight and sound go out of sync
SO MANY people have bought high-definition TVs that the manufacturers are now looking for a way to boost TV sales all over again. They see 3D as the answer.
Last month鈥檚 consumer electronics show in Berlin was knee-deep in 3D. Philips even promised a 3D shaver, which turned out to be a regular shaver with three wobbly heads.
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Panasonic and Sony both made 3D a major ingredient of their press conferences. Panasonic pointed a 3D camera at the company鈥檚 bosses and showed the pictures on 50 3D TV sets dotted round the room. This also meant handing out several hundred pairs of the active-shutter glasses that Panasonic鈥檚 system relies on. Each pair costs 拢100, and the event turned decidedly sour at the end as a squad of bouncers went about ensuring 鈥� sometimes physically 鈥� that no one left with the glasses in their pockets.
Sony avoided this difficulty by projecting 3D images of the speakers onto a huge screen above the podium, using a 鈥減assive polarisation鈥� system which only needs inexpensive viewing glasses. But there was a different problem. The complex processing needed to project the 3D video caused the pictures to lag behind the sound 鈥� subjecting the audience to the disturbingly unnatural experience of hearing sounds before seeing what had produced them.
It was bad enough when Howard Stringer, Sony鈥檚 top boss, was proclaiming the company鈥檚 lead in all things electronic, but it got even worse when classical pianist Lang Lang was brought on to perform on a Steinway grand. In the full glory of 3D, Lang Lang was shown apparently drawing notes from the keyboard before hitting the keys.
As the event progressed, members of the audience increasingly took off their special glasses and simply watched the stage, ignoring the high-tech screens. Unaided human vision, it seems, does a job of providing 3D pictures that not even Sony can improve on.
鈥淲hen Helen Cammack was on a country walk recently, she was surprised to see a notice telling her that 鈥淒ucks keep dogs on leads鈥�
Poisoning with healthy ingredients
READER Peter Crashaw was surprised to read the announcement on a packet of Rentokil mouse and rat poison that the product 鈥渃ontains natural whole wheat鈥�.
Peter wonders what the mice and rats are expected to make of this. Will the mummy and daddy rodents take the poison home and say to their children, 鈥淓at up, it鈥檚 good for you. It鈥檚 made from whole wheat鈥�?
Or are the humans who use the poison supposed to feel good about killing small animals using healthy organic ingredients?
WHEN Richard Greenwood was looking through the 鈥渟pecialist ingredients鈥� for cosmetics, published on the Delta Laboratories website at , he was startled to find 鈥減lacenta extract鈥� listed. So far so odd 鈥� but odder still is the note that this product can be 鈥渧egetable or animal鈥�.
鈥淩eproductive technology has obviously advanced far beyond my present knowledge,鈥� Richard comments. Feedback awaits a shlock-horror movie exploring this new science, entitled Vegetable Birth.
IT鈥橲 amazing what you can buy online. New 杏吧原创 subeditor Sean O鈥橬eill was checking the affiliation of Joan Johnson-Freese of the US Naval War College in Newport, Rhode Island, who was quoted in a news story (10 July, p 6).
When Sean typed her name into a famous web search engine, Google AdWords immediately made him the following offer: 鈥淏uy Joan Johnson-Freese鈥� up to 43 per cent off: Check great offers & save big now!鈥� Sean wonders if Johnson-Freese is aware that she is for sale, and that she has been so heavily marked down.
THANKS to Adrian Smith, who alerts us to a report in the Yorkshire Evening Post wittily headlined 鈥淔ood for the sole鈥�. It describes , an innovative treatment offered at the Love Your Skin clinic in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, UK.
This involves putting your feet into a tank of water so that hundreds of small carp can nibble away at the dead skin on your ankles and toes, apparently leaving them soft and smooth. What鈥檚 more, according to Turkish entrepreneur Uzeyir Islim, who brought the therapy to Wakefield, 鈥淭he fish have a relaxing enzyme in them which they then pass to you.鈥�
We were tempted to round off this story with a sequence of terrible puns beginning with 鈥渨e mustn鈥檛 carp鈥�, but we decided there鈥檚 no plaice for such childishness in New 杏吧原创.
FINALLY, we reported earlier this year that the Irish broadcaster RTE had described a car crash with the words 鈥渂oth vehicles were travelling in opposite directions鈥� (3 April). This reminded Jerry Holt of a friend鈥檚 observation, after two planes went overhead, that they were flying 鈥渢he same distance apart鈥�.