Regrettable lack of volcanoes in Essex
OUR item about a University of Buffalo press release reporting on the development of a 鈥済eological hazards facility鈥� (4 December) prompted an email from reader Nicholas Macy that rather took us by surprise.
鈥淵our mention of 鈥榮tudy of full-scale volcanoes鈥� took me back to when our daughter was studying geology at her school in Essex, on the outskirts of London,鈥� he says. 鈥淗er class tutor addressed a parents鈥� meeting and proposed a study trip to Iceland with the words 鈥榯hey will have the opportunity to experience those earthquakes and volcanoes that are so sadly lacking in Essex鈥�.
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鈥淎s it happened, their most memorable experience on the study trip was biological, as the grey mare being ridden by one of the party on an excursion was successfully sexually assaulted by a passing stallion.
鈥淎 prize was awarded to the rider for maintaining her seat during the incident.鈥�
Let no one say that Feedback readers and their offspring do not lead interesting lives.
鈥淛ack Harrison鈥檚 attempt to purchase an item on eBay got this grammatically unusual response: 鈥淎s Christmas is approaching, the postal service will be very busy recently鈥�
Translation glitch in Afghanistan
TALKING of which, Alastair Beaven, a captain in the British army, writes to us on a 鈥渂luey鈥� 鈥� that鈥檚 blue army airmail paper 鈥� from the Nahr-e Saraj district of Helmand province in Afghanistan. As a medical officer, Alastair provides healthcare to Afghan civilians as well as British soldiers. He is also, evidently, a Feedback reader.
He tells us that recently he was treating a local man with the help of an interpreter. He wanted to tell the man he was suffering from a virus, but the interpreter looked bemused. 鈥淎 virus?鈥� he queried. 鈥淵ou mean like you get in a computer?鈥�
This got Alastair thinking about words that people use in some novel sense without knowing their established meaning, 鈥渓ike singing along to a cover version of a song with no awareness of the original鈥�.
He wonders if other Feedback readers have good examples of this phenomenon. Has it got a name? If not, can someone suggest one?
WHY say something simply when it鈥檚 possible to make it long-winded and complicated? This seems to be the philosophy of Kellogg鈥檚 marketing department.
Kay Bagon notes that the instructions for serving the company鈥檚 Hot Oat Krumbly tell us: 鈥�1. Place microwaveable cup or jug of milk (125 ml) in the microwave and heat based on guide below. 2. Pour your Hot Oat Krumbly cereal into a breakfast bowl as usual. 3. Carefully remove the milk from the microwave, stir and pour it over the Hot Oat Krumbly cereal and enjoy鈥�.
Why don鈥檛 they just say: 鈥淪erve with hot milk鈥�?
READER Richard Norton sends us a scan of a page from the 10 November issue of Autocar. It includes an item in the magazine鈥檚 鈥淣ew gear鈥� column about a limited edition version of the Leica M9 digital camera that retails for 拢20,000 鈥� yes, really.
鈥淭he M9 Titanium鈥檚 reworked body is made of solid titanium,鈥� the report tells us, 鈥渁s is the 35mm lens.鈥�
鈥淪o it will be a great coffee-table object,鈥� Richard acknowledges. 鈥淪hame about the pictures.鈥�
IT CAN be tempting to imagine links between phenomena that are in fact unrelated. Reader Lesley Fahey sent us a copy of a letter published in Comment News, a community newsletter in Perth, Western Australia.
鈥淢edia reports suggest that 60 per cent of Australia鈥檚 population is overweight or obese,鈥� Perth resident Dick Percsy notes. 鈥淥ther reports indicate rising sea levels. Is it possible that these two factors have bearing on each other? In other words, the continent is sinking due to the excess weight of the population鈥︹��
Full marks to that writer for original thinking.
WHEN Martin Storey started up a program to help him manage data, a 鈥淭ip of the day鈥� box popped up.
鈥淒id you know鈥︹�� it told him, 鈥淭ips file does not exist in the prescribed directory.鈥�
鈥淭his tip,鈥� Martin comments, 鈥渋s so valuable that I expect to be given it again tomorrow.鈥�
EVERY week John Parry makes a journey that takes him past a road sign instructing him to 鈥渦se both lanes鈥�.
鈥淚鈥檇 like to comply,鈥� he says, 鈥渂ut while it would apparently be the most natural thing in the world for a photon, my Peugeot 205 just doesn鈥檛 seem to manage it.鈥�
FINALLY, in this our end-of-the-year issue, it only remains for us to convey our sincere thanks to the thousands of readers who have written to us during 2010. We never have enough room for all the stories you send us, but we love hearing from you and Feedback would be nothing without you.
Compliments of the season to you and all other Feedback readers, and best wishes for 2011.