Philosophy: Wikipedia鈥檚 strange attractor
DOZENS of readers at least have, as we feared, spent hours investigating the number of hops from any given page on entry, following the first unitalicised and unparenthetical blue hyperlink on each subsequent entry (18 June). First, though, Conrad Lawrence and James Simpson both say we erred in naming this the 鈥淢artin metric鈥�.Reader Henry Howard wrote of a Facebook posting by his friend Martin on 26 May, but on 25 May cartoonist Randall Munroe had posted a note on .
Several readers find their metrics differ from ours. That鈥檚 because people keep changing the Wikipedia pages. The metric, and its name, appear to be as fluid, and their history perhaps as opaque, as Wikipedia itself.
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Michael Jones points out that the 鈥渓iterary fiction鈥� entry took him to 鈥渓iterary merit鈥�, which took him straight back to 鈥渓iterary fiction鈥�, and asks about other 鈥渂lack holes鈥�. Pennie Quinton had already found that 鈥渃omputer software鈥� led to 鈥減rogram鈥� which led, in an appropriately recursive move, straight back.
The star reader by far, so far, is Finn Lattimore, who wrote a small program that requested 1000 random pages and counted what we should, for the moment, for the sake of alliteration, call the Munroe metric. 鈥淎ll but 11 led eventually to philosophy鈥�, he found, and sent a lovely graph of the 1000 paths, available at bit.ly/wikispace. The 11 鈥渆nded up in one of seven additional 鈥榮inks鈥�: architecture, gender, German reunification, Grail message, Iraq war, pragmatism, and process manufacturing鈥�. We suspect there鈥檚 a message in all of this, but haven鈥檛 the foggiest what it is.
鈥淪aeed Al Mutawaa is confused by the price tag in a furniture store in Weybridge, UK, for a 鈥淪phere large light cube鈥�. Is this topological correctness gone mad?鈥�
THE physics paper 鈥淎 search for new physics in dijet mass and angular distributions in pp collisions at sqrt{s}=7 TeV measured with the ATLAS detector鈥� () has, by our count, 3062 authors. A search of infallible interweb sources suggests this is a record. Graeme Cunningham is sure the person who makes the tea is in there somewhere.
OCCASIONALLY an idea comes along that, if accepted, would overturn our entire view of the universe. Such is the hope of Christopher Ball in his book RT: Reverse Theory.
Science鈥檚 dating of the Earth is wrong, it is revealed to him, because erosion is not what it seems: beach pebbles in fact accrete from sand, cemented by pollution.
What follows from this? The pyramids of Egypt are explained, for example: they were built from a proto-limestone resembling lightweight cinder blocks, which hardened.
Limestone is important to him. 鈥淪ea life, or forming limestone, was everywhere in abundance,鈥� he observes. 鈥淲e must conclude therefore that [dinosaurs] ate a lot of it.鈥�
The principle of turning every theory on its head is also important. Evolution too must be reversed: lesser creatures derived from humans under conditions known as 鈥淗ell鈥�.
Ball gives a heartbreaking account of his theories鈥� dismissal by James Whale of UK talk-radio fame and enumerates 167 publishers who rejected him. But, he writes, 鈥淐opernicus, Galileo, Columbus, Darwin and many more were derided鈥� Everyone鈥檚 opinion is valid.鈥�
Subscribers in the UK already know of some of this, since a flyer for the book was inserted with last week鈥檚 print edition of this bastion of reason. How did this happen? We envisage pennies accreting into a cheque鈥�
FANS of unconventional thought may still be able to book into the 2011 MUFON Symposium in sunny Irvine, California, from 29 to 31 July. Speakers include astronaut Franklin Story Musgrave, and others that you might expect from the Mutual UFO Network. For a mere $259 a Deluxe Symposium ticket includes a 鈥渂anquet鈥� (choice of 鈥淏raised Short Ribs, Herbed Chicken, Grilled Salmon or Vegetarian鈥�: would that be a boiled vegetarian?).
We are most disturbed by the presentation planned by 鈥渓icensed Marriage and Family Therapist鈥� Barbara Lamb of Claremont, California: see . It鈥檚 one thing that she has in 20 years 鈥渞egressed 750 persons to abductions and visitations鈥�, but quite another that she will 鈥済ive examples of ETs genetically modifying human babies in their mothers鈥� wombs, resulting in exceptional children, such as Star Kids, Indigo Children, and Crystal Children鈥�.
What help would be required to recover from your parents鈥� belief that you鈥檙e half-alien? Or, for that matter, for how much can you sue?
Preparing for the zombie apocalypse
FINALLY, though the US Centers for Disease Control are preparing for a zombie apocalypse (18 June), Leicestershire county council in the UK appears considerably less ready. The BBC request from a concerned citizen eliciting the response that the local authority is unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in its emergency plan.
Reader Ellie Armstrong wonders about inquiring of authorities globally, to see where would be safest in the event that zombies overran the world. We can hear officials鈥� uncannily undead-sounding groans already.