PLANNING ahead for his holidays, Charles Wartnaby decided to check when the official days off 鈥� known in the UK as 鈥渂ank holidays鈥� 鈥� would be.
鈥淛ohn Hann sends us a page about Quickstep shoes from the Hotter Shoe Company catalogue. 鈥淣OW 拢65 鈥� WAS 拢49鈥� it proclaims across the top 鈥� and, next to that, 鈥淪AVE 拢16鈥斥��
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Entering his question into a famous web search engine, he encountered 鈥渁 bit of finger trouble鈥�, inadvertently asking for 鈥渂ank holiday August 3022鈥�. He was therefore somewhat startled to be directed to no less an authority than , which informed him that 26 August 3022 would be a public holiday.
鈥淭o this,鈥� he reports, 鈥淚 look forward greatly.鈥�
Being a Feedback reader, he decided to explore the boundary conditions. He discovered that is listed as an official day of rest, the Summer Bank Holiday. The website鈥檚 blithe optimism about the continuing existence of the UK, with unchanging laws, and of the concept 鈥渉oliday鈥�, is not, however, unlimited. Attempts to discover the equivalent date in produce a verbose error message, the payload of which is: 鈥淭he added or subtracted value results in an unrepresentable DateTime.鈥� Charles observes that 鈥渃learly some sort of Armageddon is due鈥�.
Feedback wonders whether the message might instead concern current noises emanating from Her Majesty鈥檚 Government about defying pesky European Union law specifying workers鈥� paid time off. Are we to understand that any 鈥渢hreat鈥� to eccentrically British holiday measures will be staved off for nearly eight thousand years?
Is this written with Consciousness?
ASTROPHYSICIST Simon O鈥橳oole says he is used to receiving emails from proponents of oddball theories of the universe, but the one he got about a book called especially appealed to him. He was particularly impressed by the assertion that: 鈥�Hercolubus or Red Planet is the result of the author鈥檚 research in the superior dimensions of nature and therefore it is a book written with Consciousness.鈥�
Leaving aside the implication that other books are written with something other than consciousness, Simon asks: 鈥淒oes writing this with a capital 鈥楥鈥� make it better than regular consciousness?鈥�
THE foam mask of a lion that Emma Ranade bought for her son from the African Lion Safari in Ontario, Canada, came with a warning on the label in 15 languages that: 鈥淭his is a toy. Does not provide protection.鈥�
Emma is happy with the first sentence but confused by the second. Protection from what? Real lions? Nuclear fall-out? Swine flu? CCTV identification when robbing banks?
Her son, she says, is not bothered by any of that but finds the mask very useful for scaring his little brother.
READER Guy Cox sent us a copy of an advert for 鈥淪afe4u鈥� toilet spray from Australia鈥檚 Sydney Morning Herald. It claims the spray 鈥渕akes toilets 99.9 per cent germ free鈥�. Guy, being a Feedback reader, did some sums. Assuming that a typical toilet cubicle is about 9 cubic metres, 0.1 per cent would be 9 litres 鈥� in which up to 9 kilograms of bacteria could hide. 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure I鈥檇 want to go there,鈥� he says.
Perhaps the claim refers to the toilet seat? Guy calculated the area of a toilet seat as around 65,000 square millimetres. That means there would be 65 square millimetres still covered with bacteria after spraying with Safe4u. Guy thinks he will manage without the spray.
CONUNDRUM of the week is reported by James Tickell, who says that while he was waiting to board a British Airways flight at London Heathrow airport, a notice came up on the flight information screen saying: 鈥淎ll passengers must now proceed to boarding. All other passengers must wait until called.鈥�
Extreme self-awareness required
THE leaflet that came with the packet of Cuprofen codeine tablets bought by Emily Dubberley instructed her to tell her doctor if she experienced 鈥渓ow platelet count, suppressed bone marrow function or reduction in agranulocytes鈥�.
It explained helpfully that the latter are 鈥渁 type of white blood cell鈥� but gave no hint about how you would test for any of these, even if you already knew what they were.
The green, green grass of homepage
ON A family holiday in Scotland, Kenneth Armstrong tells us, his brother gazed admiringly at a verdant field of grass.
鈥淚t looks like my screensaver,鈥� he said, referring to that old one where individual blades of grass appear and fill the screen slowly but surely. The boys鈥� father, in bitter amusement, corrected him: 鈥淣o, your screensaver looks like this hill!鈥�
FINALLY, several readers have told us gleefully about an article on sea salt in the UK newspaper The Times on 17 November with a footnote stating: 鈥淪ome salts have more than 100 per cent sodium chloride per 100 grams.鈥�