Golden section for bladder stones
THE term 鈥渇ruitloopery鈥 was coined in this column to describe product promotions that deploy sciency words 鈥 such as quanta or tachyons 鈥 wildly out of context. We think reader Kim Travis may have extended this definition by finding a boundary condition for fruitloopery, in a paper entitled 鈥淭he rapid establishment and implications of a melamine-induced standardized bladder stone model in mice鈥 (Food and Chemical Toxicology, ).
鈥淭he key to establishing a standardized melamine-induced animal bladder stone (cystolith) model,鈥 the paper鈥檚 abstract begins, 鈥渋s to determine the most appropriate daily dose of dietary melamine, which is unknown.鈥 We鈥檙e with them so far. Then they propose their formula for the 鈥渁ppropriate daily dose鈥, relating it to the 鈥淟ethal Dose 50鈥 (LD50) 鈥 the dose that kills half the mice. They say 鈥渢he daily dose may be close to the LD50鈥檚 golden section鈥︹ Eh?
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We understand the use of the 鈥済olden section鈥 鈥 鈥 in aesthetics, particularly the design of Georgian building facades. We find 鈥済olden section theory鈥 mentioned on websites describing schemes for 鈥 and regular readers will know of Feedback鈥檚 fascination with chimpanzees鈥 (25 June 2011) and astrologers鈥 (20 August 2011) ability to outperform such schemes. We also find it in numerological discussions that have even more of a fruitloop nature, relating to pyramids and stuff.
This just shows why it鈥檚 vital for scientists to stick to plain language in their papers: 0.618 of the killing dose means just that. Talk of the golden section is liable to set off fruitloopery alarms 鈥 not only Feedback鈥檚.
ISN鈥橳 this a bit drastic? Jonathan Stratford was shocked by Google鈥檚 apparent intention to execute workers whose behaviour it disapproves of. The famous web search engine鈥檚 much trumpeted revised privacy policy states: 鈥淲e restrict access to personal information to Google employees, contractors and agents who need to know that information in order to process it for us, and who are subject to strict contractual confidentiality obligations and may be disciplined or terminated if they fail to meet these obligations.鈥
THE Technology Strategy Board 鈥 the UK鈥檚 national innovation agency 鈥 has just announced the new name for its Technology Innovation Centres. David Cleevely thinks a suitable title could have been, for example, Turing Centres, or perhaps Maxwell Centres, but the board has opted for鈥 Catapults.
According to the website promoting them (), 鈥淐atapults bridge the gap between universities, research and technology companies鈥 Catapults are opening up the airwaves so that everyone can access the latest technologies, share ideas and collaborate.鈥
This sounds suitably forward-looking and dynamic. Unfortunately, Feedback can鈥檛 get rid of the image of a grubby little boy in short trousers running away from a house, catapult in hand, after accidentally firing a pebble through a window.
The last thing 鈥渃atapult鈥 conveys to us 鈥 and David seems to feel the same way as we do 鈥 is cutting-edge 21st-century technological innovation.
鈥淩obert Knight is intrigued by the sign outside a shop on Mutley Plain, Plymouth, UK, that reads: 鈥淭attoo while you wait.鈥 Robert wants to know what the alternatives might be鈥
IS THE UK鈥檚 Royal Mail employing heavy irony to get its messages across? Perry Bebbington sends us a scan of a letter his company recently received with a Royal Mail postmark that says, quite clearly, 鈥淧lease remember to write the鈥, followed by a series of smudges that we can only convey as 鈥渪xxxxxxx xxxxxxx鈥. The smudges are followed by the post office URL 鈥溾, which is nice and clear again.
Feedback鈥檚 very patient squinting seems to confirm Perry鈥檚 guess that the illegible words are 鈥減ostcode鈥 and 鈥渃learly鈥. Perry suggests that Royal Mail is deliberately making the message about clear postcodes almost unreadable in order to ram home what it is trying to tell us.
THE specification for the Eizo S2243W computer monitor at offers 鈥淶ero Watts When Turned Off鈥. In case we don鈥檛 understand this, the web page goes on to explain: 鈥溾hen turned off via the main power switch, it consumes no electricity at all.鈥 鈥淲ith innovations like this,鈥 says Bob Brewer, 鈥渨e need have no fear of climate change.鈥
WHILE in a department store, Raine Hunter sought help from a member of staff behind a till, only to be told: 鈥淚鈥檓 not at this till at the moment.鈥 鈥淟eft uncertain of her position,鈥 says Raine, 鈥渨e tried to calculate her velocity.鈥
FINALLY, reader Robert Watson sends us a photo of a sign on a tank under a portable air conditioner in a caf茅 in Newcastle, Australia. It says: 鈥淓mpty when full.鈥 This appeared maddeningly contradictory, until we realised it is an instruction.