How roundabouts combat global warming
MANY and varied are the methods proposed for cutting carbon emissions. P. Graham Mortyn writes in the journal Environmental Science and Technology (): 鈥淎s a native Californian with approximately 10 years of European living and driving experience, I write on that personal favorite of British inventions 鈥� the roundabout 鈥� and what it might do for reduced vehicle emissions.鈥�
His brief communication seeks 鈥渢o prompt a comparative and quantitative investigation on whether simple traffic-engineering adjustments might reduce emissions on the large-scale鈥�. Mortyn did not feel the need to explain to that magazine鈥檚 readership how roundabouts would reduce emissions: Feedback hypothesises that cutting the number of stops and starts could do the job.
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The journal notes that 鈥渢he authors declare no competing financial interest鈥�. This sits interestingly alongside what may be seen as Mortyn鈥檚 declaration of motivation: he talks of his 鈥渞ecent California return and earning of a citation for not stopping at a stop-signed intersection鈥�. If only there had been a roundabout there instead.
Feedback wishes him well in his quest. Unfortunately, we already have a counter-argument, or at least a counter-anecdote.
Some years ago we were navigating for a native Brooklynite driving in Jamaica, where roads are organised on the UK model. We encountered a roundabout. Our advice to the driver derived from previous experiences with those who are unfamiliar with roundabouts and prone to panic on meeting them: 鈥淏e calm,鈥� we advised calmly, 鈥渋t鈥檚 just a lot of T-junctions. Take a left; take a right; take another right; take a left NOW!鈥�
Had we known, we鈥檇 have measured the increased carbon dioxide emissions coming from this driver鈥檚 terrified gasping, and factored them into Mortyn鈥檚 investigations into traffic-engineering adjustments.
Are they hoping to emulate the publicity gained by the Higgs Boson? A press release arrives at New 杏吧原创 headlined 鈥淗itachi Consulting UK seeks to unlock the 鈥楽hopping Particle'鈥�
Fruitloop marketing for horses
IT鈥橲 not only humans that get subjected to fruitloop marketing pitches. Horses do, too. The 鈥渓iquid titanium therapeutic horse blanket鈥� promoted in a product feature in the November issue of Practical Horseman magazine promises to 鈥渁lleviate your horse鈥檚 aches and promote well-being鈥�.
How so? Apparently, the blanket鈥檚 fabric 鈥渘aturally reacts with your horse鈥檚 circulatory system using far infrared rays and negative ions to reduce soreness, anxiety and stress without drugs鈥�.
As with human miracle cures, equine ones don鈥檛 come cheap. The blankets are priced from $150 to $280.
IN RESPONSE to our report on a sign about hearing tests in a Canadian clinic that said 鈥減lease wait until you are called in鈥� (27 October), John Gledhill tells us that a few years ago his uncle Dennis went to the Northern General Hospital in Sheffield, UK, to have his first hearing aid fitted. He was told to be there by 9 o鈥檆lock, which he was.
After sitting in the waiting room for more than 3 hours he went over to the receptionist and asked what was going on. She replied, apparently without any sense of irony, 鈥淥h, we鈥檝e been calling you on the PA for ages鈥�.
鈥淪igh,鈥� John writes.
WHILE shopping online for a case for his smartphone, Gerry Coles came across described as a 鈥淧remium moulded case with demagnetised magnet flap closure鈥�.
The ad assures you that when you want full-screen access, 鈥渢he Flip Cover just drops down out of the way and ready to close back up via the ultra-convenient mag-latch attached鈥�.
鈥淲ith a non-magnetic mag-latch, I鈥檓 sure that it would regularly drop down out of the way,鈥� Gerry suggests, 鈥渂ut I鈥檓 not sure about it closing back up so easily.鈥�
Discreetly attach to underwear
WHILE we鈥檙e on the subject of magnets, we join Adrian Smith in wondering if any readers have tried out the , on sale in Boots stores in the UK. Supposed to relieve unpleasant symptoms of menopause, 鈥淟adyCare is a small, powerful, static magnetic device that simply attaches discreetly and comfortably to your underwear.鈥�
Presumably, this would be a magnetic magnet, as opposed to a non-magnetic one. But what, exactly, is the science behind the notion that it could relieve menopause symptoms?
HOW do they work that out, then? John Vanhegan鈥檚 comment on the list of ingredients of his Hotel Chocolat dark organic chocolate is that the numbers involved are 鈥渙dd鈥�. The list reads: 鈥淐ocoa solids (minimum 100 per cent), emulsifier, soya, lecithin.鈥�
FINALLY, Jan Krokowski informs us that an overhead sign on the M77 motorway in Scotland recently announced in large letters 鈥淪un for 3 nights鈥�.
Motorists seeing this did a double-take 鈥� until they read the information underneath, saw that it was about a forthcoming road closure, and realised that 鈥淪un鈥� was short for 鈥淪unday鈥�.