PLACEBOS are now available to the general public 鈥渇or the first time ever鈥�. Simon Norburn forwards a press release from announcing the good news (see ).
鈥淣ever before has the ordinary person been able to go and get placebos for themselves or their family,鈥� it says. 鈥淎lthough used in virtually every drug trial this is the first time that these powerful agents have been available on demand.鈥�
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They can be purchased online from of Chelmsford, UK, a company set up 鈥渢o promote the safe and effective use of placebos鈥�.
Its website lists the products available, with prices starting at just 拢5 for the 鈥渞evolutionary鈥� SMS (text) placebo. A kit for the homeopathic placebo costs 拢14.99 and comes with instructions on how to dilute it.
There are also videos explaining how placebos work, along with links to numerous scientific papers dealing with the placebo effect. The site also tackles the question: 鈥淏ut I know it鈥檚 a placebo 鈥� will it still work?鈥� The answer is an emphatic 鈥淵ES!鈥�, backed by links to yet more prestigious journals .
A box on Peter Hearty鈥檚 Windows 8 desktop flashes up messages alerting him to 鈥渉ousekeeping tasks鈥�. Recently, it stumped him by telling him to 鈥渃heck for solutions to unreported problems鈥�
鈥淐AN anyone tell us what 鈥楲ifetrons鈥� are?鈥� we asked on 16 February. This was in response to Elizabeth Romanaux鈥檚 puzzlement over a that have been 鈥渁ctivated鈥� to 鈥渁ttract and transmit Lifetrons鈥�. We didn鈥檛 really expect a reply to our question, but received one nevertheless.
鈥淚 can tell you,鈥� said reader Laurence Smaje. He described a booklet he once received seeking his comments as a professor of physiology. It was called The Function of a Lifetron and explained that 鈥淟ifetron is nothing but 鈥榚nergy quantum鈥�. It has mass, as we cannot imagine any radiant energy without mass. It has three fold frequencies (鈥楽atwa鈥�, 鈥楻aja鈥� & 鈥楾ama鈥�) which varies [sic] with the nature of emitted body frequency of radiation.鈥�
Apparently, the booklet went on like this for many pages, which Laurence has kindly decided to spare us. 鈥淚 regret to say I couldn鈥檛 bring myself to send them any comments,鈥� he adds.
MEGABANK HSBC is to collaborate with the UK Post Office from spring 2013. A Post Office press release at announces: 鈥淗SBC customers to get access to their money at the Post Office鈥檚 unrivalled network of over 11,5000 branches.鈥�
鈥淒oes that mean I shall have a zero added to all the sums I deposit or transfer?鈥� Norman Stevens wonders.
At the time of writing, the redundant zero is still there, although the press release is dated 17 September 2012.
THE blurb on the Signature Car Hire website touts the virtues of the Mercedes-Benz Viano Ambiente with typical promotional gush: 鈥淭his car won鈥檛 fail to excite and surprise all who sit inside the breathtaking interior.鈥�
However, when it gets to the car鈥檚 performance, : 鈥淭he acceleration speed from 0-60 mph is 11.1 seconds鈥� the Viano鈥檚 engine has reduced fuel economy by up to 6%.鈥�
Tony Budd says he is still trying to work out the units for 鈥渁cceleration speed鈥�, but, he notes, 鈥渋t obviously doesn鈥檛 help save fuel鈥�.
A HELPFUL notice near the lift in the Department of Electrical and Electronic Engineering building at Imperial College London reads: 鈥淟ift does not stop at levels 3, 4 and 5. To reach levels 4 and 5 please take the lift to level 6 and come down via the stairs.鈥�
Alfredo Aguilar, who sent us a photo of the notice, is worried. He wants to know: what is on the third floor? Why are they not telling us how to get there?
FINALLY, Edla Ward was at first puzzled by her son Ray鈥檚 T-shirt proclaiming: 鈥淭here are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don鈥檛鈥�. After Ray explained it, Edla is pleased that she can now count to two in binary.
Back on 22 March 2003, Feedback wrote about the same T-shirt and observed that 鈥渁s far as geeks are concerned, the old jokes are still the best鈥�. We would now like to celebrate the tenth (or 1010th) anniversary of our first telling of the joke.
A little browsing on the topic of anniversaries reveals that, according to a proclamation by the American National Retail Jeweler Association in 1937, 10 years to the day when a wedding took place 鈥� or a joke was cracked 鈥� is its aluminium or tin anniversary.