杏吧原创

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Pink quinine mystery solved

MODERN information technology is a great boon 鈥� although Feedback sometimes suspects that its main function is settling pub arguments.

We recently mentioned an extremely bored afternoon whiled away reading the UK Post Office Guide, back when it was an inch-thick paper publication (6 July). We had idly wondered why it was against the rules to post 鈥渜uinine coloured pink鈥� to India.

A colleague who read the column quickly fired back an explanation, garnered by the simple expedient of asking a famous web search engine to look for occurrences of 鈥渜uinine coloured pink鈥� and 鈥淚ndia鈥� in the 17 million books and journals it has scanned.

Thus we now know from in a 1907 edition of the Pharmaceutical Journal that: 鈥淪ome years since it was decided by the Government of India that all quinine sulphate supplied for Government use鈥� should be coloured pink, as a guarantee of its purity and to distinguish it from the commercial article commonly sold in the bazzars [sic].鈥�

A very sensible explanation too, although this means that one fewer question is available for the next quiz held in the pub in which we are writing this.

Alan Trusler sends us the label from a pack of Tesco鈥檚 Micro oats showing a 鈥渂est before end鈥� date of 鈥淛an 10 9020鈥�

Government鈥檚 little joke

ON THE UK government鈥檚 public petitions website at , Tom Rogers found a page in the 鈥淩ejected Petitions鈥� category that made him smile.

The rejected petition asked the responsible government department 鈥� in this case the Office of the Leader of the House of Commons 鈥� to 鈥淏an anyone adding a new petition until they have read all the existing ones to check whether or not someone has already posted one on the subject鈥�.

Dave Goodwin, the author of this petition, claims to have read through the current list of petitions and found that 鈥渢here are a great many topics that are repeated, some as many as 8 times 鈥� if someone is too lazy to check whether or not their pet topic has already been posted they should be declared too stupid to post their own one鈥︹��

Below this complaint, Her Majesty鈥檚 government offers the following explanation for why Goodwin鈥檚 petition is in the Rejected section: 鈥淭here is already an e-petition about this issue.鈥�

This must be one of those rare cases in which the government shows it has a sense of humour.

Quantum in the 5th dimension

AS SOON as he read the first sentence of a leaflet he picked up at a 鈥淣ew Age鈥� festival, Rick Sareen 鈥渒new this was one for you guys鈥�. The sentence was: 鈥淧yramidical Memories Transmutation is a quantum tool of the 5th dimension which neutralises old, restrictive reactions and patterns鈥︹��

Rick says that he then read more of the leaflet, and by the end he was less sure which sentence he should send us 鈥� so he scanned the whole leaflet and forwarded it. It鈥檚 too long to pass on here, but for those with a taste for the barking mad we can recommend a website mentioned in it. It鈥檚 called and it includes a section on a theme that is becoming increasingly fashionable in fruitloop circles these days: a 鈥淒NA upgrade鈥� (see 27 July). Enjoy 鈥� or not.

How did the cat get fat?

FRIENDS in a medical family in North London tell us how they worried about their cat getting too fat. They tried cutting back on its food, but the cat just kept on getting fatter. What could explain this?

The local pet shop suggested an experiment and sold the family a brightly coloured new collar with the inscribed message: 鈥淚f you are feeding this cat please phone this telephone number鈥�.

The number of people who phoned ran into double digits 鈥� enough to make a very fat cat indeed.

Available when available

IN THE window of a Boots Opticians shop photographed by Andrew Doble in the town of Wokingham in the UK, there is a poster bearing, in very large letters, the words 鈥淓ye tests available today*鈥�.

But note that asterisk. Tucked away in the bottom corner of the poster, in letters so small they are almost invisible, are the words: 鈥�*subject to availability鈥�.

New 杏吧原创 is watching you

FINALLY, Noel Akers sent an email that had us laughing and blushing at the same time.

鈥淔ollowing so closely the raft of stories about the UK and US governments鈥� monitoring of their citizens鈥� electronic communications, I found it genuinely creepy to get an email from New 杏吧原创 reading 鈥榃e鈥檝e noticed that you have not read the New 杏吧原创 newsletter that you receive each week in a while鈥︹��.鈥�