Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Lashings of lakes
FEEDBACK sincerely hopes that readers in flood-prone parts of the UK are over the worst of it now. The huge quantities of water that have been sloshing around inevitably generated a surge of strange similes.
Three readers alerted us to the Windermere as a unit of water 鈥� after the lake in Cumbria celebrated by the Romantic poet William Wordsworth. David Williams informs us that The Times, for example, on 11 February reported on its front page that 300 Windermeres of rain fell on the UK in January. A reader later wrote to the newspaper .
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David writes: 鈥淎s a Welshman I am disgusted that the universal measure of 鈥榃aleses鈥� was ignored.鈥� Feedback鈥檚 experience of Wales largely confirms that this is an appropriately archetypal unit of rainfall.
David suggests: 鈥�3.4 million elephants of rain is more acceptable, at the standard conversion rate of 5 tonnes per elephant.鈥�
The Cardinia Cultural Centre caf茅 in Pakenham, Victoria, Australia, instructs Peter Robinson that 鈥渁ny patrons that bring dogs must under council policy be on a leash.鈥� Harsh, but fair?
Unit cornucopia wins what?
FINANCIAL journalists at Bloomberg have excelled in the use of new units. Jay Jungers points us to a video about the world鈥檚 five largest cargo ships (). In 1 minute and 25 seconds, it manages to compare the ships鈥� dimensions and capacity to the Niagara Falls, millions of bananas, the Hoover Dam, the Empire State Building, soccer fields, building storeys 鈥渁nd obviously,鈥� as Jay says, 鈥渢he all-important elephant鈥�.
Feedback wonders whether, in considering the generation of such similes, we should have paid more attention to the sociological aspects of journalism. For example, it is conceivable that by making this video someone in the Bloomberg office won a bet.
A tide in our affairs
MEANWHILE, Feedback makes a rather different kind of bet. Looking at the current state of the world, we eagerly await a paper in a respected journal of sociobiology positing a hard-wired hundred-year cycle in human affairs. We would expect this to feature a lead author with interesting hair, and a comparison of this year鈥檚 events in Ukraine with the origins of the First World War in the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo in 1914.
What鈥檚 that in Watsons?
WE SUSPECT a bet may also have been involved in the editing of the Wikipedia page for the pterosaur Arambourgiania. According to Courtney Kelly, at some point it provided the essential information that the beast was two and a half Benedict Cumberbatches tall, referring to the actor who plays Sherlock Holmes for the BBC. At the time of writing, this information remains on the . Feedback wonders whether this may have been inspired by last year鈥檚 popular compendium at .
Radio gaga
DIGITAL Radio UK is a trade body valiantly trying to get analogue radio switched off and replaced by digital-only stations. It runs and, not having the cachet or funds to book megastars, it annually invites meso-celebrities to extol the benefits of digital radio.
In 2012 James May, a presenter of the BBC鈥檚 Top Gear TV car programme, sheepishly admitted that he had no digital radio in his car. At the , Simon Mayo, a BBC radio presenter, visibly winced at a radio and video , which features a puppet incarnation of Barry White who wants to 鈥渟pread the luurv鈥� for digital sound. 鈥淚 hate those commercials,鈥� Mayo burst out.
This year, could they go a step further and invite someone who doesn鈥檛 or can鈥檛 listen to radio at all?
An unexpected favourite
TWEETER @bitoclass attracted the attention of several New 杏吧原创 colleagues with the memorable : 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 even think it was possible to have a favourite page of a freezer manual.鈥� The aforementioned page graphically illustrates 鈥渟ome sounds during normal running鈥�. Do not call for repairs if your freezer goes 鈥渂rrr鈥� like a cat, 鈥渉iss鈥� like a steam iron or 鈥渂lubb鈥� like wine being poured into a glass.
Spooky seminar suggestion
FINALLY, Feedback rather regrets that we were unable to accept an invitation to a 鈥淪py Training鈥� day on 20 February. Premier Communications offered us 鈥渁 unique bespoke training day which will offer you the opportunity to learn all things spy鈥�.
The operation of a 鈥渄ead drop鈥� we think 鈥� perhaps rashly 鈥� we can work out for ourselves. If we need the sort of gadget advice that James Bond would get from Q, we can always ask you, or the reader over there with the turned-up trenchcoat collar.
It turns out this was a promotion for the UK release of a spy drama, that we are tempted to call a spook-soap, on DVD, so the tuition may not have been up to military specifications.
We were particularly intrigued, though, by the promise to teach a bunch of journalists 鈥淭he Art of Honey Trapping鈥� 鈥� referring to the tradecraft of extracting information through the promise of sexual favours. Are they suggesting that journalists could in future get their stories this way?