杏吧原创

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Going down the tubes

DELIGHTFUL nonsense 鈥� that was Henry Shipley鈥檚 verdict on the conspiracy concept that orchestras tune the note A to 440 hertz because of a Nazi plot (18 January). He observes that the subject could introduce a strange unit: the foot as a unit of pitch. Or not so strange: the speed of sound in air means that the note middle C is produced by an organ pipe about 2 feet (0.6 metres) long, while a 1-foot pipe produces the C an octave above this.

And in this connection, David Fletcher points to an as yet under-appreciated consequence of carbon dioxide emissions: global flattening. Back in 1998, he wrote that calculations published in the Journal of Theoretical and Applied Acoustics 鈥� which we have not tracked down 鈥� dealt with the increase in density of air with CO₂ concentration. These revealed, he reported at the time and at , that the pitch of a baroque instrument which today is A = 415 Hz would at the time of construction actually have been A = 438 Hz.

The BBC in January of 鈥渇inding a way to do 3D surgery on the brain鈥� 鈥� as opposed to how many dimensions, Dave Goodwin wants to know

Do humans cause the climate?

AUSTRALIA鈥橲 Abbott government has, unfortunately, made it crystal clear to the rest of the world where it stands on climate change. Lindsey Slights was still shocked by comments from environment minister Greg Hunt on the cost of rescuing passengers from the Russian research vessel the Akademik Shokalskiy, stranded in the Antarctic in January.

He described the affair as 鈥渁 reminder that everyone operating in the Southern Ocean 鈥� be they whalers, protesters, climate believers or those of a different view 鈥� has to put safety ahead of everything else鈥�. As Lindsey says: 鈥渢o have the Environment Minister suggest that the climate itself may or may not actually exist is really taking it a step too far鈥�.

Acrostic topology

WHEN we asked whether readers knew any other examples of acrostics in science, we should have known that it would be a mathematician who came up with something more elegant than the undergraduate physics essay featuring a Rick Astley song in the first letter of each line (8 February).

Peter Johnstone sends a paper published in 1981, in which he answered the question of whether a mathematical structure introduced by Dana Scott a decade earlier, known as the Scott topology, had the property called 鈥渟obriety鈥� 鈥� which Feedback does not pretend to understand (). It was natural, then, that this short paper be titled 鈥淪cott is not always sober鈥�; and the initial letters of the sentences spelled: 鈥淚鈥檓 not being personal Dana.鈥�

Peter recalls that the publisher鈥檚 lawyers insisted that these letters and the word 鈥渁crostic鈥� be in bold type, afeared that Dana Scott would sue 鈥� 鈥渢hough he had already seen, and been heartily amused by, the article鈥�.

The late John Isbell subsequently 鈥渃ompleted鈥� Peter鈥檚 paper 鈥渂y giving an example of a complete lattice whose Scott topology fails to be sober鈥�. He circulated an abstract entitled 鈥淛ohnstone is not all there鈥�, the initial letters of the sentences spelling out peccavi 鈥� Latin for 鈥淚 have sinned鈥�. Unfortunately, the editors were having none of that in the .

Designate driver direction

RESPONDING to highly publicised and disastrous crashes involving cars proceeding in the wrong direction on high-speed highways, New York State is installing radar systems to spot such wrong-way drivers. These systems will warn drivers with illuminated signs 鈥� and by sending text alerts to their cellphones.

This initiative was announced by the same state governor, Andrew Cuomo, who has pushed for laws preventing drivers from texting. CBS News reports at that 鈥渢he new system doesn鈥檛 allow drivers to violate the no-texting laws鈥�.

Feedback is still trying to work out how this works. We dismiss the idea that people who drive the wrong way would obey a legal requirement that they bring a passenger to read the text to them. And who would volunteer to be that passenger?

Better when we鈥檙e in power

FEEDBACK, Mike Green says, 鈥渁ppears to have completely misunderstood a simple difference between schools 鈥榞etting better all the time鈥� and 鈥榞rade inflation鈥� 鈥�. We were considering UK Education Secretary Michael Gove鈥檚 explanation that all schools could be above average if they were 鈥済etting better all the time鈥� and admitted this was technically possible, only if test scores rose continuously (1 February).

鈥淕etting better all the time鈥�, Mike observes, 鈥渋s what happens when my party is in government; 鈥榞rade inflation鈥� when it鈥檚 yours.鈥�

Gove me the word

FINALLY, Feedback harbours a suspicion that Michael Gove did not necessarily intend the logical sense of 鈥済etting better all the time鈥�, the distinction of which from 鈥済rade inflation鈥� we discuss above. We remind him of the words of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, which continue: 鈥淚 used to get mad at my school / The teachers who taught me weren鈥檛 cool / You鈥檙e holding me down / Turning me round / Filling me up with your rules.鈥�

None of this is, we believe, in complete accordance with stated government policy.