Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Attend to their sugared words
FOOD, treacherous food! On 5 March the World Health Organization in our diets. When we saw this, we remembered a prominent report in The Guardian newspaper the day before: 鈥溾��.
Call Feedback a sour cynic, but we wondered whether that could have been spoon-fed as a 鈥渟poiler鈥� to spread confusion and doubt about the WHO recommendation. It certainly turned out that there was much less to the story than met the eye. It was based what people aged 55 to 60 had eaten in the 24 hours before a survey (8 March, p 7).
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When we turn to the declarations of interest on the paper () we find no links to the usual confusion-spreading suspects. But one author, Valter D. Longo, 鈥渉as equity interest in L-Nutra, a company that develops medical food鈥�. We find at that 鈥淧roLon鈩� will be L-Nutra鈥檚 first product to reach the market. 鈥淪o what is it?
So far, we have found no list of ingredients, just a statement that it is an 鈥渁ll natural product produced from vegetables鈥� a source of all the important vitamins, minerals and other essential micronutrients鈥�.
ProLon is also described as a 鈥淔asting Mimicking Enhancing鈩� Diet鈥�. We are left with the suspicion that it is food-free food. At least it seems to be free of macronutrients.
A scam email gave the game away to Joe Hill when it mentioned a tax refund of 鈥渓b 1,400鈥�. It鈥檇 be so much easier for them if the UK metricated the pound sterling鈥�
Rank of gross diet
BANG on cue, on 6 March, the front page of the Daily Express newspaper blazed: 鈥淔atty food is good for you鈥�. The beneath that headline proclaims: 鈥淎merica鈥檚 leading cardiovascular research scientist Dr James DiNicolantonio 鈥� diets low in saturated fat do not prevent heart disease or improve health.鈥� That is a little different. And did the Express, before declaring DiNicolantonio to be the leading US researcher, go through the grief Feedback did tracking down his rather atypical set of affiliations?
It is all very confusing. The question that still troubles us is: is this all-natural confusion?
Your partner in the cause
SEX, meanwhile, makes nearly as good an opening to a story as food. Grant Hutchison responded to our mention of researcher Antony Karelis, who believes that sex is worth encouraging in people who baulk at working out (22 February).
Grant points out that the aerobic benefit is quantified in, among other places, the article 鈥溾�� from the admirably thorough .
As an equivalent level of exercise to slow dancing or bricklaying, you could consider 鈥渟exual activities (own partner)鈥�. This will burn energy at a rate of 60 watts. You could hit 80 to 90 watts through dancing (not slow) 鈥� or 鈥渟exual activities (new partner)鈥�. Feedback disclaims all responsibility for any untoward effects of following this advice.
Ingredients of our cauldron
WHILE we were thinking about ingredient-free food, above, we came up with a modest research proposal. Recently, a friend of Feedback experienced unpleasant gastric symptoms after eating wheat-based foods. 鈥淯npleasant鈥�, that is, as covered by the .
Diagnosis would be prolonged, involving eating lots of wheat. The pragmatic advice 鈥渟o don鈥檛 eat that, then鈥� seems effective.
The question that now arises is: how does any increased lifespan gained by detailed knowledge of what we eat compare with the amount of time used up in shops, reading lists of ingredients? We shall be setting a stopwatch. We welcome your data.
Approved their virtues
PLASTIC carrier bags from the Cotswold Outdoor shop come emblazoned with the intriguing message: 鈥淢ade from biodegradable鈥�. Feedback wonders how many people consider the things they buy to be composed of virtues, not atoms. Consider the possible power of the slogans 鈥淢ade of nutrition鈥� and 鈥淐ontents: cleanliness鈥濃�� and the time saved by accepting these value judgements, thus avoiding reading the ingredients.
Immediate are my needs
FINALLY, a contender for probably Feedback鈥檚 favourite-ever unusual unit arrives in an email from Mark Dowson, and it has the more unusual cachet of likely great antiquity. Apparently, reindeer are unable to walk and pee at the same time: they have to pause at set intervals of distance.
In Finnish, this interval is known as poronkusema or 鈥渞eindeer鈥檚 piss鈥� and was an old-fashioned description of rural distances. By Mark鈥檚 calculation, it is about 320 blue-whale-lengths.
This is a , but it seems almost too nice to be true. So Feedback asked a friend 鈥� the Finnish journalist Heikki Jokinen. He confirms that it is used in Lapland and was delighted to be diverted from other work to discover its actual value, which is about 7.5 kilometres for a reindeer drawing a light sledge 鈥� and that it is important: reindeer eating lichen produce urine as strong as battery acid, he says, and they get sick if deprived of their comfort breaks.