杏吧原创

鈥淗AVE nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.鈥� This was a golden rule for those struggling to furnish or redecorate their homes, offered by William Morris, a 19th-century British textile designer.

Insightful as it sounds, Morris鈥檚 advice turns out to be rather impractical. As we all know, our relationship to the things we own goes far beyond utility and aesthetics. Simply put, we love our stuff. Morris鈥檚 contemporary, the psychologist William James, had a notion why. Our possessions, he argued, define who we are: 鈥淏etween what a man calls me and what he simply calls mine the line is difficult to draw.鈥�

As well as being useful, our possessions represent our extended selves. They provide a sense of past and tell us 鈥渨ho we are, where we have come from and perhaps where we are going鈥�, says Russell Belk, who studies consumerism at York University in Toronto, Canada. Our things are 鈥渞epositories of ourselves鈥�, says Catherine Roster at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. 鈥淚t might be a sweater, a lamp, an umbrella 鈥� an object doesn鈥檛 have to have material value to have emotional value.鈥�

Our ability to imbue things with rich meaning is a universal human trait that develops early in life (see 鈥�My blankie!鈥�), and develops as we get older. A 1977 survey of multiple generations of families in Chicago revealed that older people tend to prize objects that spur memories and reflection, whereas younger people value things with multiple uses 鈥� like a kitchen table and chairs. That may be the case in the digital era as well. Sociologist Eugene Halton, who conducted the survey, speculates that younger people today might prize their smartphone above all else, but it is unlikely to stay special for long. 鈥淣ot a lot of people collect their old computers and cellphones as meaningful possessions,鈥� he says.

The inclination to value things we own beyond what others think they are worth is known in psychology as the endowment effect. It explains why we are more likely to buy a coat once we have tried it on, or a car once we have test-driven it 鈥� just imagining that something is ours makes it seem more valuable.

Our ability to imagine the way new things will change our lives is what drives us to acquire them in the first place, says Marsha Richins at the University of Missouri in Columbia. She found that we have 鈥渢ransformation expectations鈥� about new stuff: we expect things to make our lives better and enhance the way we are viewed by others. It鈥檚 a tendency expertly exploited by advertisers, she says. Our culture of hyper-consumerism can make it difficult to determine where normal behaviour ends and compulsion begins.

Of course, we are all materialistic to some extent 鈥� some more than others 鈥� and we do get a boost of happiness from buying things. But . And because it is so fleeting, many people quickly feel the desire to top up with another purchase, and another 鈥� and are often willing to go into debt to do so.

鈥淲e get a boost of happiness from buying things, but it doesn鈥檛 last鈥�

Studies show that those who routinely seek out material things to make them happy may be struggling to find fulfilment in other aspects of their lives, such as relationships. But, interestingly, the drive for stuff itself may not be the cause of this discontent: a study by Rik Pieters at Tilburg University in the Netherlands showed that to make people more materialistic, but the inverse isn鈥檛 necessarily true.

Another reason to refrain from 鈥渞etail therapy鈥� is the sizeable toll consumerism has on the environment. In part to make way for new stuff, people in the US throw away an of clothing and other textiles each year. Also, it turns out that the more you prize possessions, are to dismiss environmental concerns.

Still, the solution isn鈥檛 simply to reject our instinct for accumulating belongings. Our stuff has an important role in shoring up our sense of identity, one made most apparent when we are forced to let it go. This can be difficult, even traumatic, since it is akin to letting go of parts of ourselves. Institutions such as prisons and military camps strive for just this effect by removing clothes and other personal items from people and issuing them with standardised kit to diminish their individuality. They become like clay, primed for reshaping.

People who have lost their homes and everything in them because of a natural disaster often report a profound confusion of identity. Following the huge wildfire in Oakland Hills, California, in 1991 that left more than 5000 people homeless, Shay Sayre at California State University in Fullerton of survivors. One told her: 鈥淲e became orphans without a past. Like we had amnesia, like we didn鈥檛 exist before the fire.鈥� When people lose their possessions, reflected Sayre, questions of the self become critical, for if we are what we own, who are we when we own nothing?

Status update

Our sense of self isn鈥檛 the only reason we accumulate stuff, or doggedly hang on to it. Possessions are also symbols of social standing and status. Several recent studies suggest that today鈥檚 20 to 35-year-olds are far more inclined than previous generations to try to acquire status or prestige by buying things like designer handbags or high-end fashion items. Part of that may be because they income from their parents or have more ready access to credit cards.

The availability of such 鈥渆asy money鈥� may explain another recent finding: investigating materialistic tendencies among older teenagers in the US, researchers at San Diego State University in California found that, since the mid-1970s, there has been a growing discrepancy between young people鈥檚 desire to own expensive things and their willingness to do the work to earn them 鈥� the 鈥渇antasy gap鈥�.

Our materialistic desires are usually dictated not by what we need, but by what those around us have. Envy is a mover of markets. At a deep level, it is all about fairness and dignity, says Edward Fischer, an anthropologist at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. 鈥淚s it fair that I have less than others? And what does this mean to my sense of self-worth?鈥� This isn鈥檛 just a feature of affluent societies, he adds. 鈥淚t is also true among rural Maya farmers, Cairo鈥檚 workers and around the world. The norms of those peer groups vary a lot, but the influence of relative standing in them is important everywhere.鈥�

How to spend it

We may not be able to shake our drive to acquire stuff, nor our tendency to compare ourselves with others. But we can change the amount of happiness we get out of the stuff we buy. It is well known that once you earn enough to maintain a comfortable lifestyle, additional money doesn鈥檛 continue to improve your quality of life. But that may be because people are spending it wrong. Research by psychologist Elizabeth Dunn at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, found that spending on experiences and other people offers a more enduring boon than splashing out on other things. Whether you buy your nephew the fanciest football boots you can find or a basic pair matters less than whether you go to the park with him to try them out, she says.

Another strategy is to think about how our purchases will affect how we go about our daily lives. Though we expect new things to bring change, in truth this is often a hazy notion, which, for its nebulous nature, evaporates all the more quickly once we have acquired that new thing. So before you break out the credit card, Dunn suggests you pause to consider what you will actually be able to do differently once you have your new thing, and whether it will truly affect the way you spend your time 鈥� the most precious commodity.

This article appeared in print under the headline 鈥淢y precious鈥�