Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Primary school puzzler
THE Welsh government recently circulated to literacy and numeracy tests in the country鈥檚 schools. Feedback now seeks help with our homework, which is to interpret a graph from the guide.
It plots 鈥減rogress score鈥� against school year. The caption explains, perhaps: 鈥減rogress scores shown are for a child taking the Year 3 test in 2013 and the Year 4 test in 2014. The solid line on the progress score charts represents the mid-point in the progress scores achieved in each year group. Half of the children taking the tests would be expected to achieve a score that lies between the two dotted lines.鈥� These, on the graph, were labelled 鈥淧rogress score 2013鈥� and 鈥淧rogress score 2014鈥�.
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The caption goes on: 鈥淎 quarter of the pupils in each year group would have progress scores above the higher dotted line and a quarter of the pupils in each year group would have progress scores below the lower dotted line. This pupil has made progress that is in line with what is expected for her year group.鈥�
鈥淭ell me it鈥檚 not me,鈥� pleads Julia Jones, noting the pamphlet鈥檚 鈥淐rystal mark鈥�, by which the Plain English Campaign approved its clarity. Her husband Neal Hockley, also a lecturer at Bangor University, concurs.
The revised graphs put online a few days later make a little more sense, with marks showing a child鈥檚 scores. We wonder: did a statistician or a numerologist offer clarification?
The scientific acknowledgement of the week 鈥渨armly thanks Coop茅rative Nogent l鈥橝bbesse [and others] for regularly supplying us with various champagne samples鈥� (see )
Telepathic Tubes
TRANSPORT for London informed Matthew Carse it has 鈥渋nstalled 鈥榥ext-stop鈥� audio-visual systems, to let you know when you are approaching your destination鈥�. These were now on all buses and 鈥渕ost Tube trains鈥�. Matthew asks: 鈥渉ow does this exciting new system know where I鈥檓 going?鈥�
Underground plain and simple
FEEDBACK confirmed friends鈥� suspicions in checking the above Transport for London announcement by, er, spotting a train. At Edgware Road station we found surviving and refreshingly innocent of spiffy next-stop digital displays.
George and Trumpet, please
RE-READING the announcement above, on the assumption that it鈥檚 written in pressreleasese, a language we have studied, we decided it was true. It requires that, before venturing by bus into unfamiliar territory, you first go to to find out whether the name of your stop, which will be announced by an intrusive semi-synthetic voice, is 鈥淭he George and Trumpet鈥� or 鈥淔ish Island鈥�. (One of these is real.)
Pressure cooker reminiscences
PRESSURE cooking, we suggested, might be a partial example of a metaphor without foundation 鈥� what we dubbed an 鈥渁thelemic metaphor鈥� 鈥� because we had never encountered an actual pressure cooker in the US (26 April). This inspired 20 readers to tell us their memories of them, seven from the US. Several recalled experiences similar to ours, in which an ill-advised release of steam left rice embedded in the kitchen ceiling. Thank you, all.
On tenterhooks
THE above discussion of athelemic metaphors has left Robert Harding on tenterhooks: will we mention his message?
The Brussels Interpretation
ELECTIONS are now taking place for the European Parliament, reminding us of an article in UK newspaper The Guardian in February which argued that the EU is 鈥溾��. The author, Mike Galsworthy of 杏吧原创s for Labour, gave figures for research funding but seemed mostly to be responding to of being 鈥渁nti-science鈥�.
That claim, in the group鈥檚 report on 鈥溾��, seems to centre on European institutions鈥� keenness that foods with genetically modified ingredients be labelled as such.
Then on 14 March The Daily Mail 鈥� a newspaper not known for europhilia 鈥� produced one of its inimitable whole-story-in-the-headline scoops: 鈥溾��.
Such policy debate can make quantum mechanics seem plain.
The Danube is not blue
MEANWHILE a colleague trying (and failing) to discover the science policy of the anti-EU UK Independence Party was tickled to find that its on-hold music was Johann Strauss鈥檚 . The usual lyrics to this classic piece exalt the unity of the Germanic peoples.
Gravity-free chairs for all!
FINALLY, several readers have alerted us to adverts appearing recently in the UK for 鈥淕ravity-free鈥� and 鈥淶ero Gravity鈥� chairs. One to use 鈥渁nti-gravity technology originally developed for astronauts鈥�.
Steve Tunnicliff observes that 鈥渢he anti-gravity effect isn鈥檛 too strong鈥�, because in an illustration 鈥渟omeone gently leaning on the chair overcomes it鈥� and presumes that this is why 鈥淣ASA鈥檚 interest waned鈥�.
Do we want, Monica Dalby asks, 鈥渢o experience weightlessness for only 拢59.99?鈥� Perhaps. But we recall writing about this marvellous furniture some years ago: and we have utterly failed to find it in the archive. Have we accidentally acquired a Zero-Memory chair?