Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Nice slice of fried man, Sir?
NEWS reaches Feedback of a grim, cold first Monday back at university, and a class introducing humanities graduate students to statistics. Our informant was distracted by her neighbour snacking on McCoy鈥檚 crisps 鈥� and especially by the prominent legend on the packet: 鈥淢AN CRISPS鈥�.
Could this snack actually be deep-fried slices of man? If so, isn鈥檛 there some sort of prior art claim from heirs of Mrs Lovett, proprietor of the pie shop supplied by demon barber ? If the classmate wasn鈥檛 munching on crispy fried slithers of male human, isn鈥檛 there a trade descriptions issue here? And does the manufacturer have balancing plans for 鈥渨oman crisps鈥�, or 鈥渄olphin crisps鈥� for that matter?
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The UK Post Office is pushing life insurance 鈥� by email, to John Whittle, dated 16 December 2014, offering special terms if he applies before 10 January 2014
Sex-specific snack suspicion
IN THE same vein as the above, it was purely for research purposes that Feedback purchased a packet that yelled at us that the chocolate buttons therein were 鈥淢AN SIZE鈥�. An image of a brown disc labelled 鈥渁ctual size鈥� is accompanied by another image of a tape-measure, showing it to be 42 millimetres in diameter (and 5 millimetres thick) 鈥� shorter and more slender than most men.
Is there evidence that men are resistant to purchasing snacks unless encouraged by such confusing slogans? If so, research into health-promotion messages that take advantage of this must urgently be funded. 鈥淩eal men don鈥檛 get the munchies,鈥� perhaps?
When ads break the law
FED UP with advertising slogans that break the law, especially the laws of physics? Benjamin Careathers, David Wolf and Miguel Almaraz, a bunch of enterprising consumers in the US, were. On seeing the slogan 鈥淩ed Bull gives you wings鈥� they each thought 鈥渙h no it doesn鈥檛鈥� and brought class action lawsuits against the makers of the energy drink.
As a result, if you are a resident of the US and bought one or more cans of the products in question in that country between 1 January 2002 and 3 October 2014, you can go to and claim a share of $13 million.
In case you鈥檝e forgotten since the settlement proposal was announced in October, Feedback reminds you that your deadline is 2 March, unless you want to object to the settlement or to opt out 鈥� which generally leaves you the option of suing separately 鈥� by 1 April. Lawyers for negotiating the proposal, in which the manufacturers do not admit any wrongdoing or liability.
Getting water from petrol
THIRST is best quenched with water. This is, we have observed recently, hard to find in the desert (25 October 2014). We reported Roger Riordan鈥檚 recollection of hearing at school in 1944 that German scientists had invented dehydrated water, reconstituted with petrol.
Kristen McAteer reminded us how to get water from petrol. Her grandfather, who served in the war that was raging at the time, instructed her thus: suspend a small metal pail over a larger bucket. Fill the small pail with petrol, 鈥渂eing extremely careful not to allow the tiniest scrid to drip onto the outside or into the larger bucket鈥�.
As the fuel evaporates and chills the pail, water condenses on the outside and drips down.
Richard Kerr mentions condensing the water formed when petrol is burned. Karen Page announces that she has 鈥渟ome dehydrated water on my dining table right now, next to the pepper. It used to be sea water.鈥�
Professor Twerp鈥檚 discoveries
WE MAY have the origin of the above-mentioned story from Roger Riordan in a recollection by George Featherston. The 1960s British television series All our Yesterdays re-ran newsreels from the 1940s. George recalls one proclaiming 鈥渘ew British weapons鈥�, including an anti-searchlight to black out the moon, credited to 鈥淧rofessor Twerp, inventor of dehydrated water鈥�.
The irony has got its hat on
FOR several months Feedback has suffered anxiety on seeing the phrase 鈥渧eteran BBC DJ鈥�. Now we venture to mention the case of one who in May 2014 after playing an 80-year-old recording of Ambrose & His Orchestra performing The Sun Has Got his Hat On, a novelty song with lyrics that unfortunately contain the racist 鈥渘 word鈥�.
The word can be heard more clearly in a version of the song recorded in 1932 by Syd Lipton and his Grosvenor House Band. This was restored for re-release in a series of CDs, The Classic Years in Digital Stereo, by Australian sound engineer Robert Parker. To get rid of the hissy background noise Parker captured noise from a 鈥渟ilent鈥� passage and subtracted it from the music. was released on the BBC Records label.
An easily-resisted offer
FINALLY, lawyers in the energy drink case mentioned above may be planning a celebratory outing. They probably won鈥檛 be taking the trip to Eastbourne, a seaside resort in the UK, advertised in the cutting that G. Izzard sends. The small print specifies: 鈥淎ll prices are based on 40+ passengers and two adults sharing a twin/double room.鈥�