Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Cosmic signals lunched out
FEEDBACK recently mused on the significance of the recurring number 187.5 in the frequency distribution of fast radio bursts (18 April). Was it a message from the beyond? As the ink was drying on that question, more mundane news about radio bursts , in a paper from the in New South Wales, Australia, on 9 April. You will observe that Feedback鈥檚 ink takes a while to dry.
The paper concludes that signals resembling cosmic radio bursts 鈥渃an be generated at 1.4 GHz when a microwave oven door is opened prematurely and the telescope is at an appropriate relative angle鈥�. It shows an impressive correlation between some signals and local lunchtime.
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Parkes people were impatient for their soup, in short. But the 鈥渇ast radio bursts鈥� in the original puzzle remain.
Over the emergency-exit window of a Cardiff bus, Mike Alcock finds a hammer behind glass labelled 鈥淔or access strike here鈥�, and the warning: 鈥淒o not break glass with the hand.鈥� So with what?
Cosmic numerology is a thing
COSMIC numerology is still a thing, then. We reported Chris Conklin鈥檚 thoughts about crystal oscillators being a possible source of mysteriously-proportioned fast radio bursts (18 April). Since then Alan Wilson has thought about the possibility of a radio source moving away from us, or of space expanding between us and it. David King noted sceptically that 鈥渢he beams were observed in completely different regions of the sky鈥�. Our mailbox fills with more suggestions as we write.
New challenge to the universe
CHALLENGES to our understanding of the universe continue to arrive. Paul Segal sends that the Australian Broadcasting Corporation initially captioned 鈥溞影稍磗 at the LHC celebrate after colliding protons at record power, mimicking conditions close to the Big Bang that created the universe in 2010.鈥� Proponents of the notion that the universe was created recently: Paul notes that nowadays 鈥測ou can find them anywhere鈥�.
Their way is strait
FEEDBACK鈥檚 inbox is regularly graced with missives from organisations under the name 鈥淐hristian Concern鈥�. Last week they were angry about the biblical scholarship of Judge Shamim Ahmed Qureshi (25 April). This week they turn to attempts to forbid 鈥渃onversion鈥� 鈥� in the sense of 鈥渢herapy鈥� claiming to set gay people on the way of the straight.
Their way is, as King James鈥檚 translators put it, 鈥渟trait鈥�. They have therefore as one for the human rights of 鈥測oung people facing unwanted same-sex attraction鈥�.
On first reading, that looks like a campaign to 鈥減rotect鈥� young people from others. We read it again, and it seems that Christian Concern wants to protect gay youngsters from themselves, but not to be clear about their archaic views, which shows that society has made progress of a sort.
Common as muck and joyous
WHAT could go wrong with an organisation such as 鈥淐hristian Concern鈥� sending regular messages to Feedback? Certainly, unexpected things. Even more unexpected, perhaps, than the things that can go wrong when people reach for metaphors for unexpected things.
David Smith notes our mention of Nassim Taleb鈥檚 use of 鈥渂lack swans鈥� (11 April). 鈥淧urveyors of this notion have probably never visited New Zealand or Australia,鈥� he writes, 鈥渨here black swans are as common as muck and a white swan is simply not to be seen 鈥� well, probably not!鈥�
Digging into the archive, we discover that, after an interview with Taleb (1 July 2006, p 50), Elizabeth Bromham noted that to her 鈥渁 black swan is a joyous, and common, sign of a healthy ecosystem鈥� (29 July 2006, p 22). So the unusual issue reoccurs鈥�
Monetarist-geometrist tinkering
THINKING of things going wrong, Chris Curnow is worried about the new design for the UK pound coin 鈥� announced coincidentally, no doubt, in the run-up to the election on 7 May. It has 12 sides. He provides the delightful information that 鈥渇aceted鈥� coins such as the existing seven-sided 50p coin, with each side an arc centred on the opposite corner, are 鈥淩euleaux polygons鈥�. The images of the new coins we have seen have straight sides. Is this a cunning plan to achieve the same effect as the 鈥渕onetarist鈥� policy of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher by reducing what economists call the 鈥渧elocity of money鈥� 鈥� or at least the part of the money supply whose shape may now cause it to become wedged in coin-operated machines?
Press 8 for an infinite loop
FINALLY, we hear that no one uses voicemail any more. Explanations vary between experts: people are texting, using social media, or are annoyed by telemarketer messages.
But attempts to reach a professor at George Washington University in Washington DC reminded us of another reason 鈥� the voicemail systems themselves. The phone went unanswered after four rings. We were switched to voicemail and a robotic voice asked for the mailbox number. We guessed this referred to the last four digits: the robotic voice said that was not a valid mailbox. We tried the last five digits and the phone started ringing. After four rings, it transferred to a robotic voice, which asked鈥�
This is not the first infinite voicemail loop we have met. Does anybody ever notice that they are no longer getting voicemail?