Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
The apples of discord
HOW鈥橲 this for fruitloopery? We can rot apples with the power of our minds, says a lifestyle coach. Self-described self-improvement guru Nikki Owen claims that focusing negativity on a slice of apple will cause it to decay more quickly than one showered with compliments. The finding received a double-page spread in that august journal of the fringe sciences, the .
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This is, inevitably, an extension of the curious theories of Masaru Emoto, the Japanese researcher who claimed that attaching emotive labels to saucers of freezing water could influence the shape of the ice crystals.
Naturally, the fact that human flesh and apples both contain water means the effect should translate, or in Owen鈥檚 words: 鈥淎n apple is a tiny human I can experiment on.鈥� You can watch Owen do just that online, berating an apple like the drill instructor of a .
Quizzed by the Daily Mail on the science behind the fruitloopery, Owen cheerfully admitted 鈥渢here isn鈥檛 any鈥�, before concluding, somewhat counter-intuitively, that 鈥渢he proof is that it works鈥�. Feedback can only put the 鈥渉undreds鈥� of successful replications claimed by her followers down to good old cherry-picking.
Stealing the limelight this week: the larval cover star of Biology Letters, featured in a paper titled: 鈥淚鈥檓 sexy and I glow it: female ornamentation in a 鈥�.
Bio-plastic fantastic
OUR dowsing rods continue to point us towards 鈥�afuncts鈥� 鈥� items rendered useless by their overwrought design (17 October).
The Ooho is billed as an 鈥渆dible water bottle鈥�, and resembles a small, liquid-filled plastic bag 鈥� although the plastic is actually a blend of brown algae and calcium chloride. Delicious.
All very clever, except that soft jelly is fairly useless as a water bottle. The small, fragile capsules are almost impossible to drink from without spilling. The Ooho can鈥檛 be resealed or reused after opening, like a normal water bottle. And the water must be frozen before it is coated with alginate, so the oil you save on plastic can be burned for electricity instead.
In all, a costly and impractical way to deliver water. Strange then that the Ooho just won a grant worth 鈧�20,000 鈥� in a European Union competition designed to foster new, .
Hereditary titles put to the test
IS BLOOD thicker than ink? That is the question prompted by a dispute between two British men both claiming to be the true heir to the baronetcy of the Pringle of Stichill.
reports that Simon Pringle, son of the 10th baronet, was the sole contender until an amateur genealogist uncovered DNA evidence that his father was only distantly related to the rest of the Pringle clan 鈥� prompting pure-blooded accountant Murray Pringle to lodge his claim.
The Judicial Committee of the Privy Council must now rule on whether DNA can be used as evidence in a dispute over a hereditary title 鈥� surely akin to asking if the presence of stool can clarify whether bears crap in the woods. Of course, a ruling in favour of Murray could uncover innumerable cuckoo鈥檚 eggs in Britain鈥檚 noble houses. Are the UK鈥檚 aristocrats born or made? Watch this space.
Cartoon conundrum
SEVERAL readers offered solutions to the brain-teaser posed in Tom Gauld鈥檚 cartoon (), but Hillary Kerner鈥檚 really floats our boat.
Her three-part solution is as follows. Firstly, the 杏吧原创 can convince the Businessman to lock the theory in his briefcase, then distract him with something shiny to encourage him to enter the boat and leave his briefcase behind. Once safely on the other bank, she should apologise profusely and then go back for the locked briefcase and the Student.
Alternatively, we are told, the 杏吧原创 could throw the theory into the river to protect the Student, because a backup copy is most likely saved on her office computer at the university.
鈥淥therwise, the 杏吧原创 could hypnotise the Businessman into thinking he is a duck,鈥� Hillary concludes. 鈥淭his doesn鈥檛 solve the problem, but at least provides amusement for the 杏吧原创 and Student.鈥�
The long and short of it
FEEDBACK previously examined the benefits of short and humorous paper titles. Brian Horton supplies both in 鈥淧ygmies and Civil Servants鈥�, a study published by Conor Ryan in .
The paper describes a method of finding better solutions to a problem by using an algorithm to 鈥渕ate鈥� competing answers in succession over many generations.
On the provenance of the title, Brian explains: Civil servant solutions are as exact as possible regardless of their length or complexity; pygmy solutions are short, and being correct is only of secondary interest. By combining the two philosophies, the algorithm eventually approximates a solution that is both simple and correct.
Makeup for mutts
LAST week, Feedback revealed the existence of facial recognition systems for dogs (24 October). Alan Oliver sends news from South Australia that may throw a confounding factor into the mix.
A possibly mis-typed headline in The Times of Victor Harbor announces a 鈥淐rack down on Victor鈥檚 rouge dogs鈥�. Reportedly the problem pets make it 鈥渆xtremely difficult for a lost dog to be reunited with its owner鈥�.
Who exactly is handing out blusher to these pets, and for what purpose, remains a mystery.