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Feedback: Bluetooth pregnancy test is not immaculate conception

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Baby Bluetooth

stork

IN AN age of cheap wireless technology, the temptation to add connectivity to your product can be overwhelming, even when you really shouldn鈥檛. Take, for example, First Response, whose latest offering is a Bluetooth-enabled pregnancy test. Once connected to your smartphone, an app will entertain you with music or videos while you wait for a result, and offer advice after the fact.

Engadget journalist Nicole Lee sums up Feedback鈥檚 reaction with an article entitled 鈥淚 don鈥檛 need a damn 鈥, reminding First Response that 鈥渘ot everything in our lives needs to be connected鈥. Is this the worst product yet to join the much-vaunted and equally maligned Internet of Things? We鈥檙e certain you can find others.

App slap

MORE questionable technology: brain-training programs may be a dime a dozen, but app-maker Lumosity finds itself paying out $2 million to over a suite of 40 such games.

The Federal Trade Commission the company of deceiving customers with unfounded claims that the games could improve performance at work and in school, and reduce cognitive decline. Feedback concludes the smartest thing you can do with brain-boosting apps is bin them.

Babbling brooks

VETERAN readers will recall the enduring legacy of Masaru Emoto鈥檚 bizarre theory that water can absorb the sentiments of words written on the label. Now, finally, the water is ready to talk back.

Janet Gambles directs our attention to Blue Bottle Love鈥檚 鈥淗o鈥檕ponopono鈥 products, which are, er, lovely blue bottles with the word 鈥淗o鈥檕ponopono鈥 written on them. This incantation, , 鈥渋s the powerful, ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that allows the healing of many physical, mental and emotional ailments鈥.

Filling a bottle and placing it in the sun will 鈥渋ncrease the frequency of your water and raise your overall vibration鈥 when drunk. Furthermore, 鈥渢his design represents the cleansing phrases of I love you鈥 Thank you鈥 I am sorry鈥 Please forgive me鈥.

The latter half of which will be particularly handy when handing a bottle of warm, stale water to a thirsty friend.

Chrome dome

TINFOIL hatters Shield are offering a beanie for warding off stray electromagnetic waves (9 January). Martin Gregorie worries that the construction 鈥渋s a reasonable approximation to a spherical mirror for radio waves鈥, suggesting the signal from a cellphone in the wearer鈥檚 pocket 鈥渨ill be intercepted by the inside of the beanie, where it will be focused onto a small part of the users鈥 brain鈥.

However, Shield deflects this criticism. 鈥淢any people are asking about signals that come through other parts of head and hit the inside of the reflective cap, then pass back through the brain a second time or stay inside and multiply their power,鈥 writes the company. 鈥淭his is ridiculous.鈥 Finally, something we all agree on.

Cheaper by the pound?

Craig Borland is helpfully informed by internet megamart Amazon that the WileyFox Swift smartphone is 拢129.99, or 鈥溌52/100g

Year in review

WE鈥橰E heartened 鈥 rather inexplicably, we admit 鈥 to learn that 2016 is a palindrome year when written in binary after all, provided you鈥檙e willing to climb to the appropriate vantage point. John Hurst writes to reveal that 2016 can be written in 16 bits as 0000011111100000. 鈥淭his is the only palindromic 16-bit binary year in most people鈥檚 lifetime,鈥 says John, though younger readers can look forward to celebrating again in 2064.

Time sensitive

MORE forward planning: Martin Stevenson is informed by his anti-virus program that his protection expires in 鈥21198813 days鈥, and is encouraged to renew now to stay fully protected. Better safe than sorry, we think 鈥 although 58,000 years is a generous margin of error.

Confounding factor

PREVIOUSLY, Feedback discovered 鈥渋nternational visionary and energy healing practitioner鈥 Douglas Ballard, who claims he can accurately answer any question (2 January). Tim Stevenson writes: 鈥淧erhaps this sage should be asked, 鈥榃hy do you not know the answer to this question?'鈥

Difference of opinion

A PAIR of papers published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences caught Richard Pearson鈥檚 eye.

Youhua Chen and D茅nes Schmera that 鈥淎dditive partitioning of a beta diversity index is controversial鈥, to which Kris Murray and Andr茅s Baselga 鈥淧artitioning beta diversity into replacement and nestedness-resultant components is not controversial鈥. Normally, intractable parties must agree to disagree. But wouldn鈥檛 that prove Chen and Schmera were right? If only Douglas Ballard were here.

Sick clicks

LAST month, David Taub asked for a word to describe chancing upon something that you really wish you didn鈥檛 know existed (9 January). For online encounters, Tony Kline suggests 鈥測uk-hit, pronounced yukkit鈥. It鈥檚 a start, though we鈥檙e not sure 鈥測uk鈥 really sums up the worst the web can throw at us.

Off the rails

sinkholeLEVITATING trains may have come to southern England sooner than expected. Barrie Watson forwards news from the BBC that 鈥渢here were difficulties on the Southern network when a sinkhole caused trains between Redhill in Surrey and Tonbridge in Kent to be suspended鈥. Let鈥檚 hope passengers weren鈥檛 left hanging around for long.

Topics: electromagnetism / pregnancy and birth