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Feedback: Prismatic makeup paints you in best possible light

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

3D make up

Shine on

NORMALLY it falls to Feedback to shine a light on questionable marketing claims, however Tony Badsey-Ellis offers a promotional boast that may prove immune to this approach. 鈥淢y wife purchased a product from the Clarins Instant Light make-up range, and was amused to read that 鈥榯he 3D Radiance pigment optically 鈥榮plits鈥 light into 3 dimensions to enhance facial beauty鈥.鈥

Rarely does a single line inspire so many questions. Which dimensions is light sent into? Why does Clarins feel it necessary to dress the word split with quotation marks? And how exactly will this process enhance facial beauty? Feedback prefers more traditional lighting tricks to enhance our looks 鈥 bulbs dimmed, or switched off completely.

Pricey ice

AS DEDICATED connoisseurs of water, Feedback previously delighted in the existence of Vienna Standard Mean Ocean Water, a proxy for all water on Earth that can be quaffed for just 拢1750 a glass (12 March).

For those with more exotic tastes, Steve Worthington points us to SLAP 鈥 an isotopically balanced sample of 鈥溾 鈥 which carries a similar price tag. Serve chilled, we presume.

鈥淢ark Stoates raises a glass to the general manager of Bricktown Brewery in Oklahoma City, who is none other than George Stout鈥

On the scent

WE ARE also delighted to discover the existence of the bearcat 鈥 neither bear nor cat, but a civet native to South-East Asia. These fig-eating mammals have the unusual distinction of smelling delicious, thanks to a chemical in their urine that evokes hot buttered popcorn. Which prompts Feedback to ask: what other incongruous scents in nature have readers come across?

Throne room

JOHN TISSANDIER relates some unusual units for an unusual man. Hafth脫r Bj枚rnsson, the Icelandic strongman who plays The Mountain in TV fantasy drama Game of Thrones, can reportedly deadlift a weight equal to that of an adult grizzly bear. 鈥淏ut it was his max squat of 385 kg that caught my attention,鈥 writes John, 鈥渁s apparently this is equivalent to 鈥榥ine toilets鈥.鈥

Deposit account

FRED FLINTSTONE probably would have approved: Bentley Motors have announced that customers can now order a 鈥渟tone veneer鈥 for their luxury cars. 鈥淟eaving aside that the product is mostly resin and fibreglass鈥, writes Guy Cox, 鈥淏entley Motors states that the slate and quartzite stone is 鈥榮ustainably sourced鈥 from hand-selected quarries in Rajasthan and Andhra Pradesh, India.鈥

Can the motor company really prove that the minerals in question are being laid down at the same rate they are mining them, he wonders.

Shank鈥檚 pony

IT IS possible that readers may recognise Virgin Trains鈥 ambition that all forms of transport should be commercially exploited: while booking a ticket online, Feedback is informed that we will transfer between adjacent stations in sunny Wigan via 鈥淔OOT (Unknown Service Provider)鈥.

Bee-fuddled

FURTHER evidence of prescience in literature (16 April): Peter Slessenger takes a copy of Marcel Proust鈥檚 In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower from the shelf to draw our attention to the metaphor of 鈥渁 bee so bemused by tobacco-smoke as to have lost its intent to garner away the supplies its efforts have gathered, and all hope of ever reaching the hive鈥. Surely a forewarning of the danger of neonicotinoid pesticides, he thinks.

Inciting protest

FEEDBACK was passing the Royal London Hospital a couple of weeks ago, while junior doctors were striking against the imposition of a new contract by UK Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

One was outside with a megaphone, informing passers-by that 鈥淗unt wants to privatise the Health Service.鈥 He then added a footnote: 鈥淗unt et al, 2005.鈥 Nice to hear things done properly.

Fields of history

FIELDS of history: during a recent football match between England and Bosnia, Mal Walker was pleased to see Casey Stoney replaced by Lucy Bronze in the second half.

鈥淚 waited till the end,鈥 Mal writes, 鈥渉oping to see an Iron brought on to finish the game.鈥

Making the cut

SPONSORED content is a fact of the modern age, yet Feedback can鈥檛 help but be puzzled by the decisions that lead The Guardian newspaper to publish its fascinating interview with forensic anthropologist Sue Black in their careers section through such an arrangement. 鈥淭he first time you cut human skin is monumental鈥 reads the arresting headline, alongside the logo of the article鈥檚 sponsor: Gillette razors.

Spirit of time

what it claims is the world鈥檚 first anti-ageing gin, aptly named Anti-AGin. The alcohol is said to be proof against the ravages of time, owing to a selection of botanicals and drinkable collagen.

鈥淚t鈥檚 the best thing for people who want to stay young, but don鈥檛 want to give up alcohol,鈥 beams the description. For maximum efficacy, Feedback recommends filling a barrel and sealing yourself inside.

Ruffled feathers

A RECENT translation on Facebook turned a serious article from Der Spiegel about the Syrian conflict into farce, says Liz Tucker. The German name for one of the states involved is die T眉rkei, but this appeared online as 鈥淣ATO sends warning to the turkey鈥.

A bemused Liz wonders if it was about the approach of Christmas.

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