杏吧原创

Feedback: Putin in his place

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Trump

Putin his place

MUCH has been made of the rise of post-truth politics 鈥 the idea that while politicians are still as dishonest as ever, they no longer even pretend to stick to the facts. An exemplar of this is US presidential candidate Donald Trump, a man who doesn鈥檛 lie so much as see the truth as a bad investment.

Lately Trump has been accused of softening the Republican stance on Russia. Quizzed on Vladimir Putin鈥檚 military adventurism, Trump insisted that the Russian leader had no expansionist plans: 鈥淗e鈥檚 not going into Ukraine, OK, just so you understand,鈥 he told George Stephanopoulos at ABC News. 鈥淵ou can mark it down.鈥

Stephanopoulos was prompted to point out that Russian forces are already there, having annexed Crimea in 2014. 鈥淲ell, he鈥檚 there in a certain way,鈥 Trump admitted, before adding, inexplicably: 鈥.鈥

鈥淩oger Gladwell is tickled by a sign he spotted by the highway as he drove north from Southampton, UK: 鈥淐CTV cameras take your litter home鈥濃 Well, that鈥檚 a new use for them鈥

Top Trumps

TRUMP鈥橲 Heisenbergian take on Putin鈥檚 whereabouts encourages Feedback to cast an eye over the pompadoured presidential candidate鈥檚 forays into matters scientific and more. We feel these can only be adequately conveyed in the great orator鈥檚 own words, taken verbatim from his Twitter feed.

鈥淚 predicted the 9/11 attack on America in my book 鈥淭he America We Deserve鈥 ()

鈥淣ot only are wind farms disgusting looking, but even worse they are bad for people鈥檚 health鈥 ()

鈥淎n 鈥榚xtremely credible source鈥 has called my office and told me that @BarackObama鈥檚 birth certificate is a fraud.鈥 ()

鈥淩emember, new 鈥渆nvironment friendly鈥 lightbulbs can cause cancer. Be careful鈥 the idiots who came up with this stuff don鈥檛 care.鈥 ()

鈥淚f we didn鈥檛 remove incredibly powerful fire retardant asbestos & replace it with junk that doesn鈥檛 work, the World Trade Center would never have burned down.鈥 ()

鈥淭he concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.鈥 ()

鈥淗ow amazing, the State Health Director who verified copies of Obama鈥檚 鈥榖irth certificate鈥 died in plane crash today. All others lived鈥 ()

鈥淪nowing in Texas and Louisiana, record setting freezing temperatures throughout the country and beyond. Global warming is an expensive hoax!鈥 ()

鈥淗ealthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of many vaccines, doesn鈥檛 feel good and changes 鈥 AUTISM. Many such cases!鈥 ()

鈥淭he U.S. cannot allow EBOLA infected people back. People that go to far away places to help out are great-but must suffer the consequences!鈥 ()

鈥淚 am being proven right about massive vaccinations鈥攖he doctors lied. Save our children & their future.鈥 ()

鈥淓bola is much easier to transmit than the CDC and government representatives are admitting. Spreading all over Africa-and fast. Stop flights鈥 ()

鈥淲e must suspend immigration from regions linked with terrorism until a proven vetting method is in place.鈥 ()

Feedback can at least agree with one bombastic pronouncement from the ornery demagogue: 鈥淭he global warming we should be worried about is the global warming caused by NUCLEAR WEAPONS in the hands of crazy or incompetent leaders!鈥 Quite.

Star-crossed

PREVIOUSLY, Jocelyn Penington wrote in to question Shakespeare鈥檚 astronomy credentials, evident in Hamlet鈥檚 love letter to Ophelia (30 July).

James Fradgley draws our attention to a further example in Julius Caesar, in which the titular character exclaims: 鈥淚 am constant as the Northern Star鈥.

Unfortunately for the Bard, 鈥渋n 55 BC there wasn鈥檛 anything nearby that one could call a northern star鈥, says James. 鈥淚n any case, Polaris is five stars, a Cepheid variable.鈥 Perhaps the Roman leader was not as constant as he hoped?

Self-serve

petnet

PETNET sells $150 internet-linked feeding bowls for cats and dogs, allowing you to dispense food from afar using your smartphone.

But in a novel twist on Schr枚dinger鈥檚 pet-care practices, the company鈥檚 servers controlling the bowls unexpectedly went down, leading Petnet to warn customers: 鈥淵ou may experience a loss of scheduled feeds and failed remote feedings. Please ensure that your pets have been fed manually until we have resolved this issue.鈥

Feedback can鈥檛 help but ask: if manually filling your pet鈥檚 bowl was an option, why would anyone need a

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