杏吧原创

Super-you: How to harness your inner braggart

Think you鈥檙e saner, smarter and better-looking than the average? Well so does everyone else. Recognising our delusions is the first step to doing better
celeb
How good do I look?
Mike Powell/Getty

Ever had the sense that everyone else is an idiot? Maybe that鈥檚 a tad overblown, but when it comes to smarts, looks, charisma and general psychological adjustment, there鈥檚 no denying you are a cut above the average person in the street. Or on the road: have you seen how those jerks drive?

Well, here鈥檚 the bad news. Pretty much everyone else is thinking the same thing.

The phenomenon of self-enhancement 鈥 viewing ourselves as above average 鈥 , professions and , and to capabilities from driving to playing chess. It does have advantages. People who are more impressed with themselves tend to make better first impressions, be generally happier and may even . High self-estimation : anthropologist , argues that when we鈥檝e tricked ourselves, we don鈥檛 have to work so hard to trick others, too.

You are amazing: The 10 incredible superpowers in every human

Find out how to harness the best and avoid the worst of what you are

Confidence also helps in finding a romantic partner, and so in reproduction. When it comes to overestimating our looks, we鈥檙e all at it 鈥 although men are on average worse offenders than women. According to a study earlier this year by Marcel Yoder of the University of Illinois in Springfield and his colleagues, : they accurately assess other people鈥檚 lesser perception of them, while persisting in a more positive perception of themselves.

鈥淢en have a 鈥榝rog prince鈥 delusion: persisting in a positive self-perception鈥

The real downsides come when you鈥檙e less aware of how others perceive you. If you are self-confident without being self-aware, you are likely to be seen as a jerk. 鈥淚t鈥檚 hard to come off as humble or modest when you鈥檙e clueless about how other people see you,鈥 says Yoder. Plus we may make bad decisions on the basis of an inflated sense of expertise or understanding.

Particularly in the political arena, our 鈥渂ias blind spot鈥 鈥 a belief that our world view is based on objective truth, while everyone else is a deluded fool 鈥 , especially as the echo chamber of social media exposes us to fewer contrary views. 鈥淚t can make opposing parties feel that the other side is too irrational to be reasoned with,鈥 says , who studies communication at Washington State University in Pullman.

So how can we preserve the good while avoiding the downsides? Different strategies and training programmes do exist for overcoming our inbuilt biases. Most begin by simply making people aware of them and how they can affect our decision-making.

At home, we can use an exercise that psychologists call 鈥減erspective-taking鈥. This amounts to trying to see a dispute from the other person鈥檚 point of view, says , who studies decision-making at City University of London. She also points out that acting when you鈥檙e all riled up 鈥 in a state of high emotion 鈥 only entrenches your bias. 鈥淲e know how to make unbiased decisions, but often emotion pushes us, or we aren鈥檛 willing to put in the effort,鈥 she says. But then comes the good news: 鈥減ractice can make us better.鈥

This article appeared in print under the headline 鈥淵ou are鈥 a fantasist鈥

Topics: Brains