Getting your grapes into shape
WE鈥橰E sure many readers will be atoning for their sins over the festive season by abstaining from alcohol this January. Barrie Eggleston sends news from Australia of something to do with those idle wine bottles in the interim.
He forwards accounts of an important technological advance, presented by the Brisbane-based . This device promises to improve your tipple, even in unopened bottles.
Advertisement
Placed next to your favourite wine for several hours (or better yet, a wine you don鈥檛 like), the A$90 canister will coax water molecules in the wine into novel arrangements of so-called 鈥渉exagonal water鈥�. This will not only improve the flavour, we are told, but 鈥渙nce opened, your wine will last up to three times longer before it goes off鈥�.
A blind taste test by the Sunday Mail found that treated bottles were much more fruity 鈥� or is that fruitloopy? Feedback wonders if the preservative effect is enough to save our half-finished bottle of port that鈥檚 been gathering dust since the last of the Christmas cheese was eaten. Though we suspect there are more reliable ways to improve your wine cellar with A$90.
鈥淕eorge Neil received a news digest whose subject line announces: 鈥淭ips for Raising Happy Kids | Marijuana Use Rising In Pregnant Women鈥�. Some connection, perhaps?鈥�
Digress and multiply
WE DON鈥橳 know who Perry Bebbington got stuck sat next to during the holiday season, but he writes to share his unfortunate discovery of a phenomenon he calls 鈥渇ractal talking鈥�.
鈥淧ractitioners will start talking about one subject, then go into greater detail about one small part,鈥� he says. 鈥淭hey don鈥檛 return to the original subject but take one small part of the new subject and go into great detail about that bit. This then repeats indefinitely until the person listening either falls asleep, makes an excuse to leave or dies.鈥�
Feedback is reminded of Donald Trump, a man who speaks in so many nested clauses that reading transcripts feels like unpacking a bewildering series of Matryoshka dolls.
A president-elect who doesn鈥檛 waste time finishing one sentence that could be better spent starting another? That may well popularise this phenomenon.
Might we expect a US veto on full stops, to be replaced forever with semi-colons? You heard it here first;
Wishy washy
CAUGHT in a whirl: Adrian Simper has been struggling to parse the name of his favoured brand of dishwasher tablet: 鈥淔inish powerball super charged quantum max鈥�, which reads less like a product name and more like a cryptic crossword clue.
Adrian has written to the head of science at Finish in an effort to get to the bottom of the mystery. Feedback wonders, can something be both quantum and max? And what kind of spooky action is it promising will happen to your cutlery?
X marks the spot
FEEDBACK has previously devoted rather too much time to the mystery of missing socks. And now we discover that we may have misjudged how common a phenomenon it is.
Margaret Pitcher reports that she never loses any socks at all. She wonders if it鈥檚 something to do with XX chromosomes, which, Feedback belatedly realises, is another set of pairs that men managed to lose one of.
Enterprising Mark Redman suggests individual socks could be connected to Wi-Fi, to broadcast their location no matter where they are. Perhaps by washing them with the aforementioned detergent, you might entangle the pairs?
Science 404
VOICE-ACTIVATED assistants are finding their place in our homes, like small electronic oracles. In the US, Jane Tatchell says she asked Amazon鈥檚 Alexa for the latest headlines one morning, and after the first few categories were rattled off, she was told that 鈥淪cience is not available鈥�.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 what I fear for the next four years,鈥� she sighs.
Talking dirty
PREVIOUSLY Feedback examined the problems arising in scientific literature from the plethora of words for dung (10 December 2016). Mike Walsh writes to assist.
鈥淟inda Losito could easily have found many more words for poo by scanning that most scholarly publication from Viz 鈥� Roger鈥檚 Profanisaurus,鈥� he says.
鈥淢y sexual and scatological vocabulary has increased immeasurably since being given a copy of this erudite work.鈥� Truly an indispensable resource for doctors of all things dirty.
Animal magnetism
ON THE subject of spraint, our colleagues previously announced the news that dogs habitually orientate north-south when relieving themselves (17/24/31 December 2016, p 44). Steve Martin sees a useful application: 鈥淚f you are exploring, take your dog with you and you will never get lost.鈥� Just remember to give it a big feed first.
Vivien Harrison, meanwhile, cautions that the correct breed is necessary. 鈥淢y brother informs me that his dog doesn鈥檛 orientate itself north-south when it defecates,鈥� she says, 鈥渁s it is not a shih tzu pointer.鈥�
Shore leave
FINALLY, 鈥溞影稍磗 warn of irukandjis鈥� southward march,鈥� . 鈥淭hese jellyfish have evolved quickly,鈥� says a worried Sean Williams. Feedback promises step-by-step updates as the story progresses.