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Feedback: God’s phone number revealed by Zimbabwean pastor

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

god cartoon

Dial G for God

CHATTING on your mobile during a church service would normally be frowned upon: but what if it鈥檚 God on the line? Michael Zehse directs us to the case of Zimbabwean pastor Paul Sanyangore of Victory World International Ministries, who says he has God鈥檚 private number, and was filmed in conversation with the .

Feedback has to wonder about the implications of this technological triumph. What kind of mobile plan is God on? Does the almighty use an iPhone or Android? And does dialling heaven count as a long-distance call, or is God always local?

Not only did Sanyangore swear he would share the number with the world, he delivered on this promise. And so, South Africa鈥檚 East Coast Radio host Darren Maule . Sadly the call went through to voicemail, proving you can speak to God, but he won鈥檛 always answer back.

However, the automated mailbox did offer an itemised list of options that callers could request from the big guy, including forgiveness, lost love, winning lottery numbers, world peace and the tempting option to 鈥減ress 5 to smite someone鈥.

鈥淎ffinity Water makes a less-than-enticing pitch to Ian Gammie. A flyer reads: 鈥淏e prepared for unexpected problems with this plumbing offer.鈥濃

Cornish knocker

FEEDBACK previously asked for your help creating a pub crawl of scientific greats (15 July). Sadly, the reputations of many scientists have outlasted the establishments celebrating them.

Tom Jones sings a paean for the William Cookworthy pub in St Austell in Cornwall, UK, which celebrated the 18th-century chemist who discovered china clay in the area.

This allowed the local production of translucent white Chinese-style porcelain, much in demand at the time. 鈥淐hina clay is still used for making porcelain and bone china,鈥 says Tom, 鈥渂ut Cornish stone is used less as it contains quartz, which makes it difficult to grind into a powder.鈥

Checked out

SCIENCE-inclined drinkers might also have found refreshment in the Sir Humphry Davy in Penzance, says Fiona Zachariasse. It鈥檚 named in honour of the local boy who made the periodic table his personal bingo card, isolating no fewer than seven different elements and then inventing the Davy lamp to keep miners safe.

Sadly both pubs have gone the way of the Cornish mining industry: the taps have run dry at the Sir Humphry Davy, and the William Cookworthy is now a local supermarket.

Dry spell

ONE of our thirsty colleagues relays that the Alexander Fleming pub in Paddington, London, is also gathering dust (and, presumably, mould). And in Norfolk, says Ian Wakelin, 鈥渢here is a pub next to King鈥檚 Lynn bus station called 鈥楾he Lord Kelvin鈥,鈥 now sadly on ice.

Just the tonic

THANKFULLY things aren鈥檛 so grim up north. Martin Wood tells us the Doctor Duncan鈥檚 in St Johns Lane, Liverpool, remains popular, named in honour of William Henry Duncan, Liverpool鈥檚 first medical officer of health.

Martin says there are 鈥渇ive real beers and a good deal on pies. What鈥檚 not to like?鈥 Interested drinkers may consider a chaser in Pi in Mossley Hill, he says, 鈥渇or further good beers and (of course) more pies鈥.

Pie in the sky

SPEAKING of pies, Joe Edwards writes in response to news of KFC launching a chicken sandwich to the edge of space (8 July), telling us 鈥渋t won鈥檛 be the first savoury snack to reach such heights鈥.

He says that a meat and potato pie made a similar journey from Wigan in 2016, to celebrate the World Pie Eating Championships. After drifting for two hours at around 30,000 metres, the pie descended to Earth and was recovered by space-pie officials. Whether it was still edible 鈥 or if anyone was brave enough to .

Powered up

AFTER a seven-year refurbishment of Birmingham New Street rail station in the UK, Peter Nicholson reports that managers have erected a sign boasting about the site鈥檚 environmental credentials. It reads: 鈥淣ew Street Station has low energy lighting and control systems that can save up to 50% less energy than the previous lighting system.鈥 Progress!

Divine protection

CHINESE technology is incredible, says Larry Constantine, after receiving a Tantek tempered glass screen protector that 鈥渃ame with a seal certifying 鈥楶rotection of God鈥 鈥. Ideal for those with a direct line to heaven, we presume.

Larry worries that maybe the claim refers to the sticker itself: 鈥淢ight I be in cosmic hot water for breaking the seal to extract the screen protector?鈥 By our maths, there are six other seals to be broken before things get really serious, Larry. Keep an ear out for the sound of trumpets and horsemen.

Cold caller

polar bear cartoon

THE latest batch of junk mail delivered to Jim Jobe included a flyer advertising white goods, one of which caught his eye: 鈥渁 frost-free fridge-freezer and, according to the blurb, 鈥榳orks in temperatures as low as -15 degrees鈥 鈥.

Jim wonders why anyone living in temperatures as low as that would need a fridge-freezer. 鈥淭hen the penny dropped: these must be part of the batch ordered by that legendary salesperson who could sell fridges to those living in the Arctic!鈥

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