杏吧原创

Feedback: No more climate change, as US officials ban the phrase

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

flooded golf course cartoon

State of emergency

WHAT鈥橲 in a name? Readers may recall that Donald Trump once called climate change a Chinese hoax. If so, that could make Hurricane Harvey the latest foreign import to destabilise US industry, with oil refineries in coastal Texas shut down and residents evacuated following record floods.

Meanwhile, ecologist Jennifer Bowen at Northeastern University in Boston has revealed that an official from the US Department of Energy asked her to remove a reference to climate change from the abstract of her latest paper, on carbon sequestration in salt marshes. 鈥淭his is being asked as we have to meet the President鈥檚 budget language restrictions,鈥 the .

If climate change is the threat that dare not speak its name, perhaps Feedback can suggest other substitutions to describe events in Texas. Hurricanes could hereafter be known as 鈥渟urplus wind鈥 and evacuations rebranded a 鈥渇reedom foray鈥. And for a golf-loving president, what better than to call the catastrophic flooding of Houston a 鈥渨ater hazard鈥?

鈥淢ore questionable names: Steve Illingworth reports that 鈥渙ne of the major medical practices in the town of Keighley is the Kilmeny Surgery鈥濃

Off label

PREVIOUSLY John Cartmell suggested a cost-saving idea, that a homogeneous stock of homeopathic remedies could be labelled at the point of sale according to whatever the customer wanted to order (26 August).

Alan Henness suggests that another option would be to simply label them as confectionery. In fact, this idea has already been proposed by one manufacturer, says Alan, 鈥渨hen they were having some, ahem, 鈥.

鈥淢aybe they could add real ingredients to give them different flavours?鈥 he says. Better yet, thinks Feedback, why not cut out the middleman and just sell the labels, to be attached to whatever substance the customer wishes to empower with some homeopathic potential?

Fuelling the imagination

RECENTLY Feedback identified the penchant that petrochemical companies have for wordplay when it comes to their brand names, such as Q8 and Esso (15 July).

鈥淎nother example in this vein got my attention on a recent trip to Indonesia,鈥 writes Niall FitzSimons. 鈥淭he state oil company Pertamina has a subsidiary there named Elpiji 鈥 who are responsible for the distribution of liquefied petroleum gas.鈥

Reception area

ON THE subject of pubs named after famous scientists, Simon Shuel, Ruth Moulton and many more of you wrote to tell us of the John Baird in Muswell Hill, London, which sits in the shadow of Alexandra Palace, from where the first television signal was broadcast.

A worthy addition to our pub crawl, but perhaps a missed opportunity to name the venue 鈥淭he Rabbit鈥檚 Ears鈥, which would have put a new twist on a time-honoured style of naming pubs.

And speaking of the lack of modern technology referenced in pub names, Peter Waller writes: 鈥淚 always had the ambition to open a pub called 鈥楾he Mouse and Monitor鈥. But should the sign outside feature a lizard and a rodent, or a workstation?鈥

Joule rules

WE ARE overjoyed to report a breakthrough in our long-running quest to discover the correct pronunciation of 鈥淛oule鈥.

鈥淭he good news is the Joule family brewery, where James Prescott Joule was born, is still in business,鈥 Stephen Jorgenson-Murray informs us, 鈥渁nd decorates its pubs with poems showing how the name is pronounced.鈥

The bad news? Well, see for yourself:

Architects lay down their tools

And slake their thirst with bottled Joule鈥檚

Whilst other men when playing bowls

Pause to refresh themselves with Joule鈥檚

And poultry fanciers talking fowls

Drink many, many pints of Joule鈥檚

Ghost writer

IN A review of Oliver Sacks鈥檚 latest book, The Sunday Times reports that 鈥渢he great neuroscientist left instructions after his death to enable this book, on memory, time and consciousness, to be completed鈥.

鈥淕reat indeed,鈥 thinks Eugene Doherty, 鈥渋f he was able to leave the instructions from beyond the grave.鈥

Puss in books

QUICK: which popular British figure is often found haranguing church members, has a name that rhymes with walk-ins, and has just published a book? No, we鈥檙e not talking about arch sceptic Richard Dawkins, but his feline near-namesake Doorkins, the resident cat of Southwark Cathedral.

Michael Zehse sends us the news that after appearing uninvited on the doorstep 10 years ago, the cat has become a fixture at the cathedral, and has now published a cat鈥檚-eye guide to the building with the help of parishioner Lisa Gutwein.

Feedback reached out to the old moggy for comment, .

Short shelf life

cheesemonger cartoon

WON鈥橳 someone think of the cheesemongers? Life appears to be tasty, brutish, and short for them, says David Dunn.

He is told by a sticker on his lunch that: 鈥淭he farmhouse Cheddar cheese in our sandwiches is made with British milk and matured for up to 8 months by several generations of family cheesemakers.鈥

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