杏吧原创

THE birth of Anna Machin鈥檚 first child didn鈥檛 go to plan. 鈥淯nfortunately, I suffered a haemorrhage, and it was a bit touch and go for a time,鈥� she recalls. Her newborn daughter was shuttled off for specialist care, while Machin herself, who had passed out, received emergency attention. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 really see anything, whereas my poor husband, who was in the room, saw everything 鈥� blood flowing everywhere, about 30 members of staff rushing around, alarms going off鈥� it was very, very dramatic.鈥�

Afterwards, Machin was offered support and counselling. But no such offer was extended to her shaken husband. 鈥淎nd, actually, he was the one who needed it,鈥� she says. This was evident when, even a year later, he was unable to talk about the birth, or even think about it, without crying.

Overlooking fathers in this way is harmful to these men and their families, says Machin, who is an anthropologist at the University of Oxford. 鈥淚t struck me as unfair,鈥� she says.

Close relationships, between parents and children, lovers or friends, are Machin鈥檚 specialist subject. So back at work after her daughter鈥檚 birth, her thoughts turned to new fathers. Like any academic, she began by digging through the research.

Yet while there was plenty to be found on mothers, Machin was amazed to find barely any research on fatherhood. The little there was seemed to focus on the negative impact of teenage or absent fathers. 鈥淭here was nothing, absolutely nothing, about your average, standard dad who is around 鈥� divorced or not 鈥� who still sees his children and invests in them.鈥�

In fact, there was virtually no recognition of fatherhood as something that affected men, let alone their families. 鈥淲e thought men just floated through these experiences, and that becoming a father was not a biological phenomenon at all,鈥� says Machin. 鈥淵ou could read things 10 years ago that literally denied that a father had any input into their child鈥檚 development. That鈥檚 not only a sadness for a father, but it鈥檚 a sadness for the family and the child, because we need to understand this important figure.鈥�

Machin set out to put things right. She launched a study following soon-to-be fathers from about three months before birth until their child was 6 months old. Her plan was to change the mostly negative narrative on fatherhood, and shift focus onto the hugely positive role a father can have. She had no problem recruiting dads: 鈥淭hey were so grateful that someone was trying to understand this amazing life change.鈥�

That鈥檚 partly because fathers鈥� roles have been changing. With both parents often going to work, parenting is becoming more of a joint enterprise. And where once a female relative might have been around to help a new mother, today couples often live far from extended families. 鈥淒ad is actually the one who has to catch the baby, essentially,鈥� Machin says.

Ten years on, we now know that men undergo significant biological changes with fatherhood. And although much of the research so far has looked at heterosexual, nuclear families, it seems many of the findings apply to anyone in a father role.

Getting hormonal

Surprisingly, some of the changes can happen before a baby is even born. Men who live with their pregnant partners seem to sync up with them hormonally 鈥� and can start to experience hikes of the 鈥渓ove hormone鈥� oxytocin just as their partners do. 鈥淚t seems to have something to do with bonding the couple closely so that they鈥檙e ready,鈥� Machin says.

Then, once the baby arrives, a man can expect his testosterone levels to nosedive. This change is permanent. 鈥淚t might go up a little bit but it will never, ever return to where it was before he became a father,鈥� says Machin. That鈥檚 explained by evolution, she says. We are one of only a handful of species with involved fathers, and the only ape. In other words, human dads are something of an evolutionary quirk. The fall in testosterone helps a man fulfil this new role.

鈥淥nce a baby arrives, a man鈥檚 testosterone levels drop. This change is permanent鈥�

Testosterone motivates a man to have as many sexual relationships as possible, Machin says. 鈥淲hen you become a father, your child needs you to stick around for their successful development, so that high level of testosterone is not such a great thing to have.鈥� And the drop happens to all dads, whether they stick around or not.

For our ancestors, the father role would probably have focused on the physical survival of the offspring. Today, fathers seem to hold unique importance in contributing to their child鈥檚 social survival, particularly as they get older.

Evidence for this can be seen if you scan the brain of a new parent while they watch a video of their child, Machin says. In mothers, the limbic system, which is involved in risk assessment and nurturing behaviours, shows the most activity. In fathers, however, it is the neocortex, connected with understanding social situations and problem-solving that lights up the most.

But both these changes can happen in one person鈥檚 brain, too. In a male couple where one partner takes on the primary caregiving role, his brain will show . 鈥淲hat鈥檚 even more interesting is that those areas have a new neural connection to allow them to communicate with each other, so that the father can fulfil that dual role of being the nurturing parent but also being the one who is going to push those social developmental boundaries,鈥� says Machin. 鈥淭hat is, I think, fascinating.鈥� The work is very new, and we still don鈥檛 know if the brains of female couples or single parents adapt in the same way. Machin thinks they probably do.

Despite the changes that happen in a father鈥檚 body and brain after his child is born, it takes a while for him to make the transition to fatherhood and feel comfortable with his new parental identity, Machin has found. For mothers, this takes about nine months, whereas for fathers it can be up to two years.

But it is around this time that a father鈥檚 most important role kicks in. A 2014 study looked at mothers鈥� and fathers鈥� involvement with their children at 7 and 24 months, then assessed the children at 3 years old. The team found that both parents seemed to have an equal impact at 7 months, but at 24 months, the . The more supportive the father, the more advanced the child鈥檚 cognitive development. 鈥淚t is only once the child begins to explore their world and develop a life away from their parents鈥� that dad鈥檚 unique contribution to development kicks in,鈥� says Machin.

Until recently, however, there hasn鈥檛 been much recognition of a father鈥檚 contribution, and this can cause problems (see 鈥�Daddy downsides鈥�). 鈥淲e provide very little support to the father and we don鈥檛 have the conveyed rituals that non-industrialised countries have,鈥� Machin says. 鈥淚n other societies, we see rituals to welcome that father into fatherhood and provide support for him. It鈥檚 a public acknowledgement of the fact that his life is going to change.鈥�

Papa pep talk

That doesn鈥檛 tend to happen in countries like the UK or US, says Machin. 鈥淲omen have baby showers and a lot of fuss is made of the mum 鈥� absolutely understandably and properly 鈥� but nothing is done to acknowledge a dad,鈥� she says. 鈥淗e might get a pint bought for him, but that鈥檚 pretty much it.鈥�

Machin recommends fathers-to-be get involved as much as they can before the birth, and attend dad-only antenatal classes if possible. These can help build a support network. She would also like to see a change in hospital culture to appreciate how life-changing the experience is for a new father, and that he is more than a mere bag carrier.

As for the dads who volunteered to be in Machin鈥檚 studies, they were the inspiration for her forthcoming book, she says. 鈥淭hey repeatedly said there was nothing that told them what was happening to them and treated them like an equal player rather than just mum鈥檚 supporter.鈥�

She now has two children, and says her research has given her greater insight. 鈥淚t made me make sure that I valued and supported my husband in his role because I understood how vital it was to the healthy development of both our children,鈥� she says.

Her advice, for nuclear families at least, is simple: 鈥淭here are two people having a baby and they both need to be acknowledged,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 think we need to shove mum over a little bit on the pedestal and pop dad up there as well.鈥�

This article appeared in print under the headline 鈥淕ive dads a chance鈥�