Grasping at straws
The UK government intends to ban plastic straws and stirrers in England from 2020, as part of efforts to reduce people鈥檚 impact on the environment (the toll of whatever replaces them conveniently isn鈥檛 factored into the equation).
However, there will still be a way for die-hard soda suckers to get their fix. The Times reports that for those with disabilities who might need to use them. These straws will be available on request, without any appraisal of the customer鈥檚 need.
Ministers seem to have sensibly realised that vetting the severity of someone鈥檚 disability isn鈥檛 something we should expect from underpaid behind-bar toilers. Nevertheless, Feedback feels compelled to point out that these laudable new arrangements could be abused, leaving the possibility that even after the ban anyone could walk around with 20 centimetres of environmentally destructive plastic concealed on their person.
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Or perhaps not. Given the UK government鈥檚 record on making its disabled citizens鈥� lives difficult, we fear that a civil servant is already working on a comprehensive central vetting programme: a 鈥淔it to slurp鈥� scheme to follow on from its 鈥淔it for work鈥� one.
Dust to dust
The US state of Washington wants to apply principles of sustainable living to dying, suggesting that we consider mulching our elders.
Citizens will now be able to choose between burial, cremation or 鈥溾�� when the time comes to lay their loved ones to rest. Those opting for the latter will see the body covered in straw and woodchips and, six to eight weeks later, receive a bag containing the soil that remains.
It is then up to families to decide what to do with the dirt. We suggest a nourishing compost for your plants. Think John Innes No. 3 potting compost, now with added John.
Stone the crows
Nominative determinism rocks, and Dwight Hines has the proof. He sends an extract from Marcia Bjornerud鈥檚 , in which she notes that sedimentologists spend a lot of time determining the grain sizes of rocks by passing particles through ever-finer sieves. 鈥淎ppropriately,鈥� she writes, 鈥渙ne of the leading sandstone experts of the last half century is Harvard鈥檚 Raymond Siever.鈥�
Meanwhile, Merrill Cornish discovers a treatise on the bestial nature of humankind, titled , by Lionel Tiger and Robin Fox.
Red, dead, redemption
Stout, short-sighted and liable to die after sex with Earthlings: that is the vision of life for human settlers on Mars proposed by evolutionary biologist Scott Solomon. In a at the University of Houston, Texas, in January, woken into new life through discovery by the tabloids, Solomon argues that life on the Red Planet would be nasty, brutish and short.
Weak Martian gravity would reduce bone density, and anyone foolish enough to venture into the surrounding freezing airless desert, even in a protective suit, would expose themselves to searing carcinogenic radiation.
On the plus side, with long periods spent together in sunless, underground tunnels, mutations increasing survival fitness would spread quickly through a Mars colony. Again, a down side: after a few generations, the colonists鈥� immune systems would be so compromised that liaisons with Earthlings would prove deadly. Seeing what happens to the first batch of settlers, it is hard to imagine anyone on Earth would be following close behind.
Twenty鈥檚 far too plenty
News reaches us that the City of London Corporation, guardian of London鈥檚 storied (in all senses) 鈥淪quare Mile鈥� financial district, has voted to .
Feedback is cautious. Average traffic speeds in central London , so earning a speeding ticket in the City might prove challenging for car drivers. But with the flightiest of us sprinting at above 15 mph, beware that unexpected turn of speed when you see your bus coming round the corner.
Fission fruitloopery
Norway鈥檚 Princess M盲rtha Louise is proving to be a right royal pain after with a US shaman, Durek Verrett.
Verrett boasts a string of celebrity clients, including 鈥� inevitably 鈥� Gwyneth Paltrow. 鈥淐hosen鈥� at age 5 to be a shaman, he once came back from the dead. As well as foreseeing the future, he claims that by adjusting a person鈥檚 constituent atoms, he can alter their age. Handy.
Norwegian media report that Crown Princess Mette-Marit has , but so far she shows no interest in doing so. The princess and shaman duo even attempted to organise a seminar in Stavanger鈥檚 St Petri Church, but the bishop withdrew permission after it proved too much even for liberal Lutheran sensibilities.
The scientific establishment also remains unconvinced. In typically brusque Norwegian style, University of Oslo physicist Sunniva Rose told the country鈥檚 largest newspaper Aftenposten: 鈥淲hat he鈥檚 claiming is 100 per cent bullshit.鈥�
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