The new statesman
Switching allegiances is now almost a daily routine for UK politicians, but surely none has changed direction as drastically as Lembit 脰pik. Once a member of parliament for the Liberal Democrats, he surprised us in 2018 by pivoting to the heavens, becoming Chairman of Parliament for Asgardia, the self-proclaimed space nation founded by Russian entrepreneur Igor Ashurbeyli.
Sadly, he presides over a government in exile, as Asgardia currently has no territory to speak of. It does have a tiny satellite in orbit 鈥� containing a small hard drive that promises one day to be filled with Asgardian family photos. This hasn鈥檛 been enough to convince the Luddites at the United Nations to recognise Asgardia as a state.
Such issues are trifles in the minds of Asgardians. A conference in Vienna in April saw devotees convene to discuss the governance of their orbital USB stick. 脰pik writes to Feedback to tell us that delegates shared their short, medium and long-term plans for Asgardia. (The phrase 鈥渓ong-term鈥� is working hard here, as Asgardia鈥檚 satellite is predicted to burn up in the atmosphere within five years.)
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脰pik tells us that, in contrast to the world鈥檚 nation states, Asgardia is attempting to do things a bit differently. 鈥淚f you鈥檙e willing to play your part, regardless of who you are and where you live, as far as Asgardia is concerned, you鈥檙e in,鈥� says 脰pik, before adding somewhat ominously that everyone else 鈥渃an stay on Earth, and that鈥檚 fine 鈥� as long as they don鈥檛 wreck the planet or wipe out the human race鈥�.
No need to worry about an extra-planetary conflict any time soon, though. Asgardia鈥檚 satellite was launched by a US rocket, so it falls under the auspices of the Outer Space Treaty. This forbids anyone from claiming territory in space.
With 132 national signatories to the treaty across the world, finding a launch partner unencumbered by it isn鈥檛 easy. But if Tuvalu鈥檚 space programme ever gets off the ground, look out world!
Raise a toe-st
Former British commando Nick Griffiths has immortalised himself 鈥� in part 鈥� by donating his amputated, frostbitten toe to a remote Canadian bar for use in its most famous drink. Since 1973, the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City has offered the Sourtoe cocktail, a shot of Yukon whisky garnished with a mummified toe. Traditionally, this offering can be drunk slow or fast, but always with the lips touching the toe.
鈥淲e couldn鈥檛 be happier to receive a new toe,鈥� the Downtown Hotel general manager Adam Gerle wrote. 鈥淭hey are very hard to come by these days.鈥� The bar keeps a stock of several toes to, er, hand, but over the years several have been stolen or swallowed.
This isn鈥檛 the first time Feedback has heard of mummified remains stirring the interests of drinkers. When archaeologists opened a sarcophagus in Alexandria, Egypt, in 2018, they discovered three skeletons in a red broth. Cue a flood of requests to sample the grisly ancient liquor: thousands of people signed an online petition demanding as much.
鈥淲e need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die,鈥� petition founder Innes McKendrick wrote. Thankfully, the Downtown Hotel鈥檚 Sourtoe cocktail doesn鈥檛 seem to have such a dramatic effect.
Air freshener
When it comes to making guests feel welcome at your bar, the right atmosphere is essential. And to help with that, Spanish firm Vilardeb脫 & Mortensen is offering the Veema Human System, a device that will 鈥渘eutralise the negative effects produced by natural and artificial electromagnetic pollution鈥�.
Despite looking like a piece of moulded plastic, the Veema Human System packs a powerful punch: according to the company鈥檚 website, not only can it improve customer care and boost productivity, but an animal version, when installed on a pig farm, cuts mortality and increases weight gain. Perfect if you want to end your evening drinks fatter and not dead.
A nightspot free of radiation from electrical devices does hold a certain appeal 鈥� no text messages to spoil chats, and no waiting hungrily as dining partners stage impromptu Instagram photo shoots of the food.
Yet a visit to a bar equipped with the Veema system showed that certain devices you might expect to be affected in some way weren鈥檛. Phones received signals and the contactless card reader worked faultlessly to bill Feedback at the end of the night. Isn鈥檛 it clever?
Flying Lada
Finally, national pride was a major driver in the first space race, so perhaps it is to be expected that the new, privately funded space race is quickly becoming a contest to see who can launch the most ridiculous vanity object.
Elon Musk has been ahead for some time, after sending a Tesla sports car complete with dummy spaceman driver into space on a Falcon Heavy test rocket. But success, like orbital paths, eventually decays, and Musk has a new challenger in Russian project ToSky. It has lofted a model of a Soviet era Lada car complete with cardboard cutout of Dmitry Rogozin, the head of Russia鈥檚 Roscosmos space agency.
The Lada didn鈥檛 quite make it to actual space 鈥� the payload was part of an experiment in stratospheric satellites 鈥� but is this the emergence of a new standard in test payloads? In 2019, it isn鈥檛 enough to show off your prowess with an eye-catching car: to prove you have the Right Stuff, you need to drive it to the moon.
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