Crash landing
鈥淲e choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organise and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.鈥�
President John F. Kennedy鈥檚 words to a packed stadium at Rice University, Texas, in September 1962 ring down the ages 鈥� perhaps more so than those of the UK鈥檚 new prime minister, Boris Johnson. During the recent 50th anniversary celebrations of the Apollo 11 moon landing, he was keen to invoke the spirit of Kennedy for his own moonshot: avoiding a 鈥渉ard鈥� Irish border in the event of the UK leaving the European Union. 鈥淚t is absurd that we have even allowed ourselves to be momentarily delayed by these technical issues,鈥� he averred. 鈥淚f they could use hand-knitted computer code to make a frictionless re-entry to the Earth鈥檚 atmosphere in 1969, we can solve the problem of frictionless trade at the Northern Irish border.鈥�
Alwyne Kennedy 鈥� no relation to JFK, we presume 鈥� is keen to point out one technical issue: 鈥淎pollo 11鈥檚 re-entry into Earth鈥檚 atmosphere was far from frictionless. If it wasn鈥檛 for friction with the atmosphere, the returning Apollo capsule would never have slowed down and would have smashed to Earth at tens of thousands of miles per hour.鈥� True, thinks Feedback, but it is a vastly different kettle of fish when, like the UK, you are attempting to achieve escape velocity. Or is it? We bury our head in our hands.
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Rocket man
Feedback鈥檚 desire to pretend politics isn鈥檛 happening is disturbed by the plop of post on the mat. 鈥淚 thought you might like this new unit of measurement,鈥� writes Barry Cash. Always! He goes on to relay news from political writer Mark Pack that NASA鈥檚 Saturn V rocket weighed roughly .
Sigh. Johnson is certainly known for his ability to expel great volumes of hot air. But as for Barry鈥檚 speculation that 鈥渉e鈥檒l be more use as a unit of weight than he will be as prime minister鈥�, you might very well think that 鈥� but we couldn鈥檛 possibly comment.
Give them an inch
While we are waiting for the Johnson to catch on, we might as well turn to Edwardian cosplayer and arch-Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg. As the newly installed leader of the UK House of Commons, he has started his own campaign to bring down the metric system. He has issued his staff with a style guide demanding that untitled men be labelled 鈥淓sq.鈥�, that double spaces follow a full stop and that all measures be given in imperial units.
Feedback notes that the UK鈥檚 switch to (mostly) metric was formalised in 1965, four years before Rees-Mogg was born, so he may be protesting a little too much. Should he find himself struggling to fathom the furlong and the fluid scruple, we have a slide rule he can borrow.
The worm鈥檚 turn
Enough of these high matters of state. 鈥淭he 6 July issue notes that the worm community is pleased with the recent neural map of the nematode,鈥� writes Sylvia Potter. 鈥淚 remarked to my son my surprise that worms read New 杏吧原创; he thought it was probably read to them. Could you settle the argument please?鈥�
Delighted to, Sylvia. We can confirm that the magazine is read to them by researchers who have subscriptions, as nematodes are notoriously slippery customers when it comes to payment. We also have a strong following among budgerigars, thanks to owners lining their cages with old issues of this fine magazine.
Brassed off
Barry Cash writes: 鈥淚鈥檓 listening to The Art and Science of Blending on BBC Radio 4 and they have just introduced , who has been the master blender at Johnnie Walker for nearly four decades.鈥�
A fine case of nominative determinism. Yet in all Feedback鈥檚 years of publishing these instances, Barry points out, we have never quite deduced how the process works. 鈥淔or example, my name is Cash. Why do I never have any?鈥�
Bloody stupid
You really won鈥檛 give up, will you, dear readers? 鈥淚t鈥檚 strange how fact can sometimes echo fiction,鈥� writes Richard Green. Watching Boris Johnson enter Downing Street, he is reminded of B.S. Johnson, an infamous character from Terry Pratchett鈥檚 Discworld series.
He sends in this : 鈥淎lthough evidently able in certain fields, Johnson is notorious for his complete inability to produce anything according to specification or common sense, or (sometimes) even the laws of physics. This fact never stopped him from trying, however. He is also known as Bloody Stupid 鈥業t Might Look A Bit Messy Now But Just You Come Back In Five Hundred Years鈥� Time鈥� Johnson and Bloody Stupid 鈥楲ook, The Plans Were The Right Way Round When I Drew Them鈥� Johnson.鈥� Feedback merely forwards this on.
Signs of the times
Spotted by David Martin in Bookends Bookshop, Cornwall: 鈥淧ost-apocalyptical science fiction has been moved. It may now be found in Current Affairs.鈥�
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