Stocks and sleighs
In this year of all years, Feedback doesn鈥檛 intend to join the chorus of naysayers saying you should have taken your Christmas decorations down by now. That鈥檚 not least since we learned that Dolly Parton 鈥� surely one of the heroes of 2020 for her 鈥� doesn鈥檛 dispose of hers .
Accordingly, on this 16th day of Christmas, we bring you the seasonal silly news that if you haven鈥檛 been investing in vaccine research, then you haven鈥檛 been paying enough attention to your financial adviser. You know, the one with the antlers and the very shiny nose.
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Economist Bruce Sacerdote at Dartmouth University in New Hampshire and his colleagues encouraged a team of 10 reindeer at a Christmas-themed amusement park in the state 鈥� Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph and Boris (a trainee) 鈥� to choose securities by making hoofprints on the stock pages of The Wall Street Journal. During a dire year for stock markets, their heavily covid-19-skewed strategy, favouring life science, pharma, tech, entertainment and media stocks, by a statistically significant 4.9 per cent.
Some of the picks are controversial 鈥� the researchers highlight the appearance of oil company Chevron on the list, a contrarian choice for an Arctic species threatened by global warming. Overall, however, the cervids鈥� selections did better than the stock trades by US senators and representatives 鈥� the subject of repeated accusations of cashing in during the pandemic 鈥� , which led them to conclude that these politicians were 鈥渁s feckless as the rest of us at stock picking鈥�. Unsurprising, perhaps, that Santa鈥檚 sleigh team should have a better high-level global view.
Lunar units
Richard Gillingwater makes the dangerous admission of reading our competitor Popular Science, in particular, .
You could have read it in these pages, Richard (31 October 2020, p 14). But then you wouldn鈥檛 have gained the startling insight that 鈥渢hese small spots, known as 鈥榗old traps,鈥� range in size from about the diameter of a belly button to much larger craters that could take 10 minutes to walk across鈥�. Musing with Richard about the wisdom of leaving a belly button exposed on the moon, we also invite estimations as to how many belly buttons there are in a 10-minute walk.
1.2-metred friend
In a similar vein, reader Tim Hall 鈥渘eeded to measure [his] dog correctly for his Christmas present鈥�, and found the advice online was to ensure the dog was standing 鈥渨ith all 4 feet (1.2m) on the floor鈥�.
We suspect the leaden hand of algorithmic proofreading here. Certainly, it is something New 杏吧原创鈥榮 all-too-terrifyingly flesh-and-blood subeditors would never have let pass. They wouldn鈥檛 have had a non-metric dog in the house in the first place.
Totes breblicious
Those looking for late grounds for festive family arguments could do worse than suggesting a game of 鈥淏LABRECS: the wordgame that hates you鈥�. The brainchild of artificial intelligence researcher and game designer Max Kreminski, it is 鈥渁 rules modification for SCRABBLE that swaps out the dictionary for a capricious AI鈥�, he . Real words aren鈥檛 allowed. Rather, you can only play nonsense words, that, through statistical analysis of letter sequences in English words, sound real to an AI.
Testing our chops at we find we are pretty aptious at blabrecs, genging frungibles with facilibandon. Feedback has avoided Scrabble since we were forced some years ago to disown an elderly aunt following a ferocious argument about the admissibility of the word 鈥測ive鈥�. It鈥檚 scratback time.
Steaming romance
Douglas Ormrod writes in, charmingly, from Auckland, New Zealand, with a late addition to our items last year on the worst jobs in science (10 and 17 October). He reports beginning his research career in 1967 at the Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies at the University of Edinburgh, UK, on a programme that aimed to prevent colibacillosis in calves by the oral administration of serum-derived immunoglobulins.
The less-than-glamorous reality was that, while his female colleague, Dale, bottle-fed the calves at the front end, Douglas fingered their rear ends 鈥� without gloves 鈥� to extract liquid faecal samples for testing. They then divided the samples into cup-cake cases, weighed them and dried them in the lab oven to determine dry matter (鈥渨e always removed the pies first鈥�, says Douglas).
But besides a front and back, this story has a happy end for the pair. 鈥淭he smell lingering about our persons made it difficult for us to get dates outside the lab, so we got married,鈥� Douglas reports. 鈥淪till are 50 years later.鈥� Congratulations to you both. At least you can be sure you鈥檒l be there for each other when the鈥� readers do please complete.
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