The future, now
Are you the sort of person who looks at the word 鈥渃hallenge鈥� and sees 鈥渃hange鈥�? We are, but then we are also the sort of person that sees the words 鈥渉enge鈥� and 鈥渓eech鈥�.
This probably means we aren鈥檛 the sort who will be duly inspired by , a video introducing that institution鈥檚 . Having had it served up to us by a mole underneath its lawns, we find ourselves overcome with increasing waves of emotion.
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鈥淟eading with purpose means we never rest on our laurels,鈥� we learn, to the backing of soaring synthesiser chords. 鈥淲e plant them and create innovative solutions that give them room to grow.鈥�
This is a lovely picture, and provides an original perspective on the question 鈥淲here will you be when the future shows up?鈥�: inside a mature laurel hedge, surveying a blooming innovation landscape.
For those inclined to carp that the future never does show up, because that鈥檚 the future鈥檚 point 鈥� well, such hidebound thinking belongs in the past. 鈥淓very day, we set out to challenge the very notion of time by solving problems that don鈥檛 exist yet,鈥� we are informed.
This is, our mole remarks, at least a leap forward on the standard management practice of creating problems that didn鈥檛 exist and then trying to solve them. On reflection, there is a certain fresh-eyed PR person鈥檚 logic in solving not-yet-existent problems: if we spend too much time solving the problems of the present, those of the future might never exist, which would invalidate the whole approach.
Light in a dark place
Mind you, the laser鈥檚 inventor Theodore Maiman did . The expression comes forcefully to mind with a . Describing itself as a 鈥�16-Color LED Bathroom Toilet Bowl Light鈥�, it comes equipped with a fixed colour or carousel mode and a 5-stage dimmer for selecting how brightly your toilet bowl should glow in the dark.
What particularly attracts Mick鈥檚 attention is that it comes with a 鈥渕otion detection sensor鈥�. We, too, are left wondering precisely how that is meant. But at least now we have another plausible answer for where we will be when the future shows up.
Never too old
Our only motions now are swiftly onwards. In answer to our recent item on how old the internet thinks people can be (30 October), Benjamin Griffiths writes that he was surprised to be turned down as a volunteer for the St John Ambulance vaccination service last year because he was too old. It turned out they had his birth year down as 1909. Benjamin assures us he isn鈥檛 111 or 112, but we are unsure whether the internet was at fault or the more traditional 鈥渄odgy handwriting鈥�. Whether institutions should be turning down the services of such sprightly volunteers is another matter.
Makes you maudlin
We recently described research that involved asking people to drink wine in a Lisbon bar and recording the effects, from decreased body awareness to increased insightfulness and originality of thoughts, as 鈥渟cience that just makes the world a better place鈥� (2 October). We are more conflicted with a relatively new arrival in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin entitled .
As : 鈥淪omeone finally tested whether drinking will make you feel less rejected in an awesome design where the treatment conditions included ostracizing random subjects & then quickly giving them 5 shots of 80 proof liquor.鈥�
The headline finding is that if you are made to feel bad about yourself, alcohol won鈥檛 make you feel better. The insights 鈥渉ave important implications for ostracism theory and speak to boundary conditions for alcohol鈥檚 ability to relieve stress鈥�, the researchers write. We note that the lead researcher of the study is from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, which, homophonically at least, suggests a certain expertise.
Pressing your buttons
鈥淢usic is the best medium for expressing emotions and arousal nonverbally,鈥� we read, possibly non-controversially, in the , Journal of Behavioral Robotics forwarded to us by a colleague muttering something about coming across it 鈥渨hile writing an article about physiological synchrony鈥�.
Having failed to clock the title 鈥� 鈥淧LAY ME: interactive sonification of sexual arousal in long-distance relationships鈥� 鈥� we have only just finished mopping the cocoa from the stationery cupboard floor. It is eye-opening what you can do when you use acoustic signals generated by probes inserted in and around delicate parts of the human anatomy firstly to drive a vibrating body suit worn by someone else somewhere else, and secondly to produce a musical backing track to the whole affair.
There鈥檚 your answer as to whether entanglement can be achieved between classical objects, anyway. Don鈥檛 ask what that sound is, it鈥檚 the future arriving.
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