EVERYONE knows why hedgehogs end up dead on the roads: they like
to look for food there. But, when a car approaches, they curl up defensively
rather than try to escape. And why do they hunt on the roads? Because the warm
asphalt attracts insects and, after rain, it is a good place to catch worms.
Wrong, says a study by the Netherlands Federation for Mammalogy and
Protection of Mammals. In Hedgehogs and Cars, an analysis of the
literature, J. L. Mulder reports that hedgehogs don鈥檛 roll up when a car
approaches. In fact, researchers found it was hard to get them to roll up at
all鈥攐nly a direct attack would do it. Sometimes the animals do freeze when
a car zooms up, but usually they try, unsuccessfully, to flee.
The study also found that hedgehogs seldom look for prey on the roads,
although they often cross them while hunting or returning to the nest.
Unfortunately, their favourite time for such trips is dusk鈥攔ush hour in
most human societies.
Advertisement
THE NOSES of whisky blenders are being put out of joint, according
to Distillate the newsletter of the Scotch Whisky Research
Institute.
The advent of the 鈥渆lectronic nose鈥� is becoming something of a threat to
their ancient art of 鈥渘osing鈥� whiskies. Many column inches in scientific
journals and the national press, the newsletter says, have been dedicated to an
electronic expert that can sniff out everything from rotten fish to fake perfume
(Technology, 23/30 December 1995, p 21).
What worries the distillers is the possibility of an electronic sensory panel
for whisky. So the blending experts bought some equipment to see for themselves
whether they would soon be out of a job, and put the machine to the test on
various ingredients.
To make life easier for the machine they decided first to test its skills in
distinguishing between the different raw materials that gin is made of. To their
dismay it worked. When they tried testing real spirits containing alcohol,
though, things started to go haywire. It seems that, as with the machine鈥檚 human
counterpart, the intoxicating effects rapidly overpowered the software rendering
the results spurious to say the least.
So the whisky experts can breathe a sigh of relief . . . for now.
MORE from the Open University鈥檚 splendid glossary series
(Feedback, 30 November 1996, p 92). The following comes from the glossary for
the university鈥檚 astronomy and planetary science course. Between the definition
of 鈥淥pen Universe鈥� (鈥渁 universe with a density less than the critical density,
and hence a universe the expansion of which continues indefinitely鈥�) and
鈥淥verall Universe鈥� (鈥渢he entire universe, of which our observable Universe might
be just a small part鈥�) lies the definition 鈥淥pen University鈥� (鈥渁 university, the
expansion of which may or may not continue indefinitely鈥�). Yes, indeed.
IN THE pages of The New York Times there is a patent
column not unlike the one in New 杏吧原创, full of clever, but often
ridiculous inventions. These are seldom matters of life and death, but recently
death did make an appearance in the shape of a new tombstone that could make
cemetery visits much longer. Architect Hali Weiss was awarded a patent for her
technique of sandblasting up to 500 words of type on a headstone.
Weiss envisions potted biographies on the tombstones, an idea she developed
with the help of 鈥済rief therapists鈥�. She is quoted as objecting to the
impersonal qualities of today鈥檚 American funerals and burials. 鈥淚 think
baby-boomers are going to take back control of the death-care industry the way
they took back control of the childbirth experience,鈥� she explains.
There is a downside to all this: Weiss admits that her approach to
death-care, which is reminiscent of that of the Pharaohs and the Mayan rulers,
does not come cheap. Her tombstones will cost three times as much as the
traditional, terse variety.
WAYWARD spellcheckers continue to propose quirky alternatives to
the perfectly sensible words readers use in their papers and reports. Safety
consultant Christopher Peace tells us that his spellchecker in Word 6 insisted
on substituting 鈥渋nsanely鈥� for 鈥渦nsafely鈥�, leading him to wonder if the people
at Microsoft know something that has been eluding safety professionals for
years. He was also disconcerted to discover while writing about environmental
risk that his computer thought the word 鈥渂orehole鈥� was far too mundane, and was
suspiciously keen on using 鈥渂rothel鈥� instead.
Grammar checkers are little better. When running a Word 2 check on the
sentence 鈥淚 have completed your personnel review鈥�, Geoff Palmer found the last
two words highlighted, accompanied by the question, 鈥淪houldn鈥檛 this be rigor
mortis?鈥�. But this was less embarrassing than the alternative Ian Dodd鈥檚
spellchecker (also Word) proposed when he asked it to check the word 鈥渢estcase鈥�.
We鈥檒l leave it to your imagination what that was.
Finally, there are the 鈥渟tyle checkers鈥濃�攗seful tools, no doubt, but
prone to be overzealous. When checking an article containing the phrase 鈥渘ot
unification鈥�, Alan Bundy鈥檚 style checker objected to what it considered a double
negation and suggested 鈥渋fication鈥� as a replacement.
THESE sorts of gaffes aren鈥檛 limited to checkers, though. The US
Navy Department has an excellent historical library, and recently put its
catalogue online at http://navy.library.net/. One of New 杏吧原创鈥檚
correspondents happened to be reading a book about torpedo development
during the Second World War at the time, so he decided to see what the Navy had
to say about one of the technologies mentioned.
The catalogue offers a search function, so he typed in 鈥渉oming torpedoes鈥�,
and clicked on it. The search engine could not find any matches, so it defaulted
to an alphabetical search. This turned up a large number of books and articles
on homosexuals in the armed forces.
It also found a book, apparently in Japanese, by a linguist who seems to be
from Harvard, named 鈥淗omski, No鈥檃m鈥�.
FINALLY yet more curious disclaimers from manufacturers. The
information for consumers on a well-known aerosol fly and wasp killer reads:
鈥淜ills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges and other flying insects. Not tested on
补苍颈尘补濒蝉.鈥�
And packets of ibuprofen tablets carry this wonderfully redundant warning:
鈥淒o not take if allergic to ibuprofen or any other ingredients.鈥�