Do not touch the keys on your keyboard
THE label on the bottle of Dentyl mouthwash bought by Jolyon Ralph carried the warning: âAvoid contact with any plasticsâ. Since the bottle itself was made of plastic and the mouthwash seemed unaffected by contact with it, Jolyon assumed the warning was directed to him personally as a âfundamental lifestyle statementâ.
He is now wondering how to open the bottle and use the plastic cap to dispense the mouthwash without having any contact with either. He is even wondering whether it was wise of him to type his email to us, considering what the keys on his computer keyboard are made of.
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âPat Ryan tells us of a notice in a shop window in Dublin, Ireland, that proclaims: âEverything under âŹ15 or lessâ
A case of paedophilic necrophilia in the barn swallow
WHAT were the two barn swallows we reported on two weeks ago really doing (21 March)? As we noted, conservative blogger thinks they are a loving male and female couple, one of whom has died tragically â but Feedback reader âJimâ thinks that they are both males and fighting each other to the death. Now provides an even darker explanation.
Kees is curator of birds at the Rotterdam Natural History Museum in the Netherlands. In 2003 he was awarded the for his paper ââ. His recently published book De Eendenman (âThe Duck Guyâ) includes a section on wildlife necrophilia. One of its key examples is those same two barn swallows.
Kees tells us: âThese particular birds were not injured, in mourning or in a territorial battle. No, the fluttering swallow-on-top was engaged in one of the best photographically documented cases of necrophilia. From the pictures it is hard to tell if it was homosexual necrophilia or just heterosexual necrophilia: sexes in the barn swallow are very much alike. The less deeply coloured and slightly mottled throat and forehead of the dead swallow point towards it being a juvenile, indicating that this was a rare case of paedophilic necrophilia.â
Kees goes on to say that the pictures were taken by photographer Wilson Hsu somewhere in Taiwan in March 2004. âThe talented nature photographer seems to have assumed that the live swallow tried to revive his dead ârelativeâ. Hsu later made his pictures into a video clip () that indeed may have made âmillions of people cryâ, as Waters tells us. Try to watch it with dry eyes.â
Objects that turn out to be solid
RESPONSES to our plea for an explanation of the safety label âWarning, this is a solid objectâ (14 February) continue to arrive. Most offer variations on that proposed by Alan Carter, with its hint of unfortunate first-hand data-gathering: âSince window spaces are left unfilled for a large part of the building process, it is easy to get into the habit of sticking oneâs head through the space. New windows can be extremely clean and practically invisible, so it can be easy to continue this habit when it is, to say the least, no longer appropriate.â
Next, our congratulations goto the window cleaner in the Philippines whose scrupulous efforts caused Dave Prichard to gather his data in an encounter with a window that wasnât even new: âWhen attempting to enter a department store in Manila some years ago, I walked into an invisible pane of glass and nearly knocked myself out. A sticker would have been most helpful.â
David Brownridge suggests that such stickers be applied to more obviously three-dimensional objects, such as those that are hollow. If he needed to pick up what he wrongly thought was a very light object, he might exacerbate his chronic lower-back injury, he says. âOr if it were on the ground and of no value I might kick it, breaking my toes.â
Jim Palfreyman claims that this sticker âobviously goes onto objects [specifically, parts of the human body] that change their solidness: and in your average workplace there are plenty of theseâ. For the benefit of sensitive readers we wonât name the part of the body that Jim has in mind.
Kristi Lofthus Kleijn returns us to where we started, with an avian mortality slant that Kees Moeliker might appreciate. She proposes that the sign âis obviously meant to warn away adult native birds from large plate-glass windowsâ. It would be prudent, she recommends, âto display the universal graphical symbol for danger â a black silhouette of a raptor â with the written warning, for the benefit of native fledglings and migrating foreign fowl that donât understand Englishâ.
FINALLY, the pack of own-brand Multivitamins For Men that Chris Bradleyâs wife Sylvia bought him from the UKâs Boots pharmacy chain cautioned him: âDuring pregnancy and lactation or if you are trying to become pregnant we suggest you consult your doctor or pharmacist before taking this product.â Chris is still pondering the implications of this information.