FEEDBACK is delighted to discover a product that we never knew we needed: the 鈥渉oliday detector鈥�. You may well ask, as we initially did, why anyone would need such a device. The symptoms of a holiday were, we naively thought, fairly readily observed: the computer is turned off, the shovels are in the shed, the eternal flame on the lab bench has gone out 鈥� and there may well be unaccustomed sand and/or scenery nearby.
Unless you are an engineer, pipeline or power grid worker, that is. If you are, you will know how valuable a holiday detector can be.
One of the many manufacturers provides an explanation, at . The term, it says, 鈥渄ates back to the days of the great wooden sailing ships鈥�. One of the most important among sailors鈥� duties was to seal the mast of the ship with tar. If the sailor missed a spot, the wood would rot and, the site says, it was said that 鈥渢he sailor must have taken a holiday at that point鈥�. The term was extended to paint on steel masts and on pipelines, and then to cable insulation.
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Elsewhere on the same site, Trevor Harley tells us, is the even more wonderfully named 鈥淲et Sponge Holiday Detector鈥�.
The Concise Oxford English Dictionary knoweth this not, nor the online dictionaries we鈥檝e checked. We look forward to its inclusion, and we鈥檙e obtaining a holiday detector detector to tell us when that happens.
鈥淓liot Attridge wants to know why the London Grid for Learning web portal won鈥檛 let him view the Amateur Entomologist Society鈥檚 on moths and butterflies, labelling it 鈥渙ccult鈥濃��
DURHAM University in the UK is not the only institution to claim jurisdiction over the entire cosmos. A colleague of Feedback鈥檚 arrived at that very lovely gateway to London, Heathrow Airport鈥檚 Terminal 1, operated by the company BAA, only to be confronted by a sign even more explicit than Durham鈥檚 鈥淣o Smoking outside these doors鈥� (25 April). 鈥淣o smoking,鈥� it proclaimed, before clarifying: 鈥淚t is against the law to smoke either within or outside this building.鈥�
The colleague, a nicotinist of a logical bent, went out anyway, in search of an exception to the Law of the Excluded Middle, the philosophical principle that describes how propositions that are not true must be false, with no wriggle-room. And, indeed, amid a wasteland of slip roads and overhead walkways, beneath a bleak 鈥渂us stop 5鈥� sign, the colleague found a forlorn patch of pavement which could plausibly be claimed to be neither within nor outside the building 鈥� but was he defying BAA, Durham University, or another Authority?
Surprising signs in Adelaide airport
A SURPRISINGLY large number of Feedback readers have passed through Adelaide airport in South Australia. How do we know this? Because of the signs in the airport toilets. Each time a Feedback reader sees one, they send us an email about it 鈥� and we have now had more emails about them than about any other signs in the world.
Jack Gilding was the first. We published a note about his email on 24 June 2006. Since then there have been many more. The latest arrived last week from Catherine Bone, who sent us a photo of the sign in the ladies toilet, a printed version of which now adorns Feedback鈥檚 desk. In line with all the previous descriptions of the signs, it says: 鈥淎delaide Airport Limited uses recycled water for toilet flushing 鈥� DO NOT DRINK.鈥�
Delicious mammoth bones for dogs
FEEDBACK doesn鈥檛 often click on ads, but a Google ad for 鈥淢ammoth bones鈥� on the Science Daily site did pique our curiosity: 鈥淥ur mammoth bones average 14-16 in. Covered with meat, smoked, natural. 鈥�. Had somebody come across a stash that a prehistoric mammoth hunter had buried in the Siberian tundra?
Greatly puzzled, we dug around on the Bully Sticks pet food site, and found to our disappointment that the are merely 鈥渕eaty beef femurs鈥� for large dogs to gnaw. In the process, however, we learned that the company鈥檚 namesake product is something more exotic. The states: 鈥淏ully Sticks are 100 per cent bull penises. Not a tendon, and not processed meat strips. Bully Sticks are dried, lightly smoked or natural flavor and delivered to your door. We never try to hide what they are by giving them little cute names.鈥�
Though 鈥淏ully Sticks鈥� isn鈥檛 exactly a cute name, it hardly explains what they are, does it?
FINALLY, an offer that National Geographic sent to Andris Veilands told him that in return for a subscription he would receive a digital camera and a 鈥渇ull size world map鈥�.
鈥淏est of all,鈥� the offer went on, in daft wording typical of this type of marketing, 鈥渂oth of these fantastic items are FREE when we receive your payment.鈥�
However, Andris has decided to decline the offer because he doesn鈥檛 think his house is big enough to display the map.