杏吧原创

Energy field keeps flies off horses, possibly

THE warm summer weather in the UK has brought out the flies in droves, Sue Cunningham tells us. On the lookout for an effective fly repellent for her horses, she was intrigued to read about the from Hilton Herbs.

鈥淗ilton Herbs is proud to announce the addition of Shoo!TAG to our range of all natural products. Shoo!TAG combines cutting-edge science and technology to produce a 鈥榞reen鈥� product that eliminates the use of toxic chemicals! Developed by two sisters from Texas who worked in the quantum biofeedback industry, the Shoo!Tag uses electromagnetic frequencies to create a protective barrier against pests such as flies, fleas, ticks, and mosquitoes. Simply attach the small piece of plastic to your horse鈥檚 mane or headcollar or your dog鈥檚 collar. The magnetic strip on the back of the tag works with the animal鈥檚 energy field to create a barrier effect that repels pests for up to four months.鈥�

Much as she likes the idea of her horses having their own 鈥渆nergy field鈥� that can repel pests, at 拢24.99 per tag Sue thinks she鈥檒l pass on this. We, meanwhile, are intrigued by the revelation that there is a quantum biofeedback industry in Texas. This, we assume, must be a spin-off of the Texas pink elephant industry.

鈥淟ynton Challoner switched on his TV to see the message 鈥淵esterday will return tomorrow at 7 am鈥�. He was relieved to discover that Yesterday is a UK TV history channel鈥�

Supermarket quantises plastic cups

HERE is one of the most bizarre examples of labelling we have come across. It was spotted and photographed by Andrea Sella in his local Sainsbury鈥檚 supermarket. The label was beside an item described as an 鈥淎vent Magic Sportster鈥� and it announced the price of 鈥溌�3.37鈥� in large, prominent figures. Under this was the explanation: 鈥溌�15.13 per 4.49 item鈥�.

So let鈥檚 get this straight. They鈥檙e telling us that if we buy 4.49 of this item it will cost us 拢15.13. Isn鈥檛 that useful to know?

And what is the item that is being quantised in this extraordinary way? It is, Andrea assures us, a child鈥檚 plastic cup.

Shoes that are made of other materials

A COLLEAGUE recently had to limp home in bare feet. A nearly new pair of sports shoes had failed in dramatic fashion. The soles went rock hard, cracked and broke up, while the uppers went soft and disintegrated, and the linings fell apart.

What could they possibly have been made of? Fortunately of March 1994 obliges manufacturers to 鈥渃onvey information relating to鈥� the composition鈥� of the upper, the lining and the outer sole鈥� in footwear. Fortunately, too, our colleague鈥檚 self-destruct Mission Impossible shoes were still so new that the maker鈥檚 labels were fresh and legible.

The soles, they declared, are made of 鈥淥ther materials鈥�. The uppers are made of 鈥淥ther materials鈥�. And the lining is made of 鈥淥ther materials鈥�.

Our colleague is grateful to the EU for insisting on this disclosure of helpful information.

A supply of fists in case of need

TRAVELLING by rail through the west of England, Susan Cartwright says she was sufficiently bored to decide that the First Great Western passenger safety card might provide a few minutes鈥� diversion.

It did. The first instruction for opening the train doors in the event of an emergency read: 鈥淪trike the emergency door release panel with a fist (located above the exterior door).鈥�

This, Susan tells us, provided grounds for musing on (1) what proportion of the readers of the card would be unable to supply their own fists, and (2) where First Great Western acquired a supply of fists to place above each exterior door.

Susan goes on to speculate where and how the railway company got the fists but, being a bit squeamish, we don鈥檛 think we鈥檒l go there with her.

Vegetables with the right frequency

WISHING to try to preserve his figure before submitting to the inevitabilities of time, Richard Steltner decided to get more information about the UK government鈥檚 campaign encouraging people to eat more fruit and vegetables. So he typed the campaign slogan 鈥�5 a day鈥� into a famous web search engine. Helpfully, it responded: 鈥�5 a day = 5.78703704 * 10^-5 丑别谤迟锄鈥�.

Feedback screws up

FINALLY, after a comedy of cock-ups worthy of a Feedback item, we offer our heartfelt apologies to Stuart Greenwood, whose witty entry in our moon rock competition (18 July) we disqualified because it appeared to break our rule of a maximum of 75 characters per entry.

It now turns out that in the maelstrom that engulfed the New 杏吧原创 office as we tried to sort and judge 5500 competition entries, two little words somehow got added to Stuart鈥檚 entry, so that 鈥淔or those at home watching in black and white鈥� you鈥檙e not missing much!鈥� became 鈥淔or those of you at home鈥︹��. Without those extra words Stuart鈥檚 entry would definitely have qualified and would have been one of the top entries we published. Stuart, we鈥檙e really sorry. Congratulations on your entirely valid entry.