Google unsure: is Paris Hilton naughty?
TIME is money, so they say, which may be one reason a famous web search engine has devised Google Instant to shave milliseconds off your searches. Start to type in a search word, and Google鈥檚 computers will guess what the word is before you finish and flag up its guesses in a drop-down box along with search results based on the letters you have typed so far.
So far, so good. But what happens if a small child types in a few letters that happen to be the start of the kind of search that people hide from their bosses? Don鈥檛 worry. Google won鈥檛 fill in the rest if it thinks the word is a naughty one, and it won鈥檛 list any links. If you want to search for something naughty yourself, you have to type in the whole word and then hit Enter.
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The trouble is, once filters of naughty words get started, they don鈥檛 know when to stop. Volunteers have been compiling a list of Google鈥檚 blacklisted words at , which at the time of writing stood at 447 entries. It makes perplexing reading.
For example, Google appears to be in two minds about 鈥淧aris Hilton鈥�, banning her from the drop-down box but not from the search results. On the other hand, 鈥渉ooker鈥� is excluded from both, meaning it takes an effort to find the American civil war general Joseph Hooker 鈥� but Google seems happy with 鈥渨hore鈥� or 鈥減rostitute鈥�.
Meanwhile, anything that ends in 鈥渄ick鈥� is blocked, including 鈥淭ricky Dick鈥�, for late US president Richard Nixon, and Philip K. Dick, the science fiction writer.
Other phrases on the list seem entirely innocuous to us. What鈥檚 wrong with 鈥渞apping women鈥� for instance? But perhaps Google鈥檚 naughtiness experts know more about such matters than we do.
WE WONDERED, in our story about 鈥淭erry鈥�, who spams people offering to give them two Yorkshire terrier puppies (25 September), how Terry鈥檚 scam works. Colin 鈥渘o relation to Terry鈥� Watters sends us an email with a photo of a cute puppy attached.
鈥淭o illustrate how this scam works I arranged to ship the enclosed puppy to you by airfreight yesterday. This is the actual puppy I sent so you can show it to your children and they can decide on a new name for her.
鈥淭oday I can confirm she has safely arrived at Ecalp Dab Airport en route to you but there is the small matter of her quarantine bill. It鈥檚 only $25 so please arrange for a transfer of $25 to account number 419419 at the bank of Sremmacs. Do not delay because if your payment arrives too late they will have her put down.
鈥淪adly the quarantine facilities in Ecalp Dab are not very good. The other puppy I shipped caught a cold and had to spend six months there undergoing expensive medical treatment. Sadly in the end she died despite the owner spending a lot of money.鈥�
Poor little puppy! Send off that $25 straight away.
WHILE on holiday deep in the English countryside, Richard and Kath Prior were driving to their farmhouse bed-and-breakfast one night, guided by the satnav in their car. When they turned down the track leading to the farm, the satnav said 鈥淣avigate off-road鈥�, which was fair enough. The next instruction was rather more unexpected: 鈥淒rive 248,326 million miles to highlighted route.鈥�
Richard can think of three possible explanations. First, that this was a message from extraterrestrials who were hoping he and Kath might go and meet them. Second, it might have been a message from Kath鈥檚 dead ancestors, who the couple were researching and some of whom were buried locally. Her ancestors, Richard says, were God-fearing folk, and may have sent the co-ordinates for heaven.
But Richard鈥檚 preferred explanation is the third one. 鈥淚 confess to taking a perverse pleasure in trying to wind up the girl in the satnav, by ignoring her instructions when driving through familiar territory鈥�, he admits. 鈥淪o far she has remained stoically patient in her attempts to get me back on course. Was she at last getting her own back?鈥�
FINALLY, the makers of Dettol antiseptic products have started promoting a 鈥渘o-touch hand washing system鈥�. This is a soap pump that automatically senses your hands and dispenses soap, so you don鈥檛 have to touch it.
Dettol鈥檚 web page at warns that 鈥測our soap pump can harbour hundreds of bacteria鈥�. Clearly a scary state of affairs to which the no-touch system could be the answer. 鈥淣ever touch a germy soap pump again,鈥� the advert advises.
However, Peter Hoare feels he must be missing something. 鈥淚 usually touch the soap pump before I wash my hands, not after, so it really doesn鈥檛 matter if the pump is germy because鈥� oh never mind.鈥�
鈥淪ewage treatment works鈥�, announced the sign seen by David Tweedie on the road out of Warwick, in the English midlands. That鈥檚 a relief, then鈥�