Myriad malfunctioning metaphors
NOT only is the world of computing riddled with icons and images representing obsolete kit 鈥� such as that which encourages us to save a file to a barely existent floppy disc (25 June) 鈥� many of them are broken. Robert Cailliau writes that 鈥渢he clock widget on my computer screen has a second hand that vibrates slightly after each tick, mimicking a defect of cheap mechanical clocks.鈥�
Some, like the noises made by digital cameras (30 July), mimic features that thousands of engineer-hours of effort had eliminated in the real world. 鈥淭he screenshot application makes a shutter noise that I cannot turn off, whereas my real 1973 reflex camera was praised for having an almost inaudible shutter,鈥� Robert says.
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Others are inexplicable, to us at least. Robert has a 鈥渘otebook app鈥� on his iThing that simulates a leather notebook. 鈥淭he 鈥榣eather鈥� is properly stitched with fairly regular but not perfect stitches,鈥� he observes, 鈥渂ut on the left hand side there is a column of 14 lines to tap to access different notes 鈥� and three of these are rendered unusable by the image of a flap of 鈥榣eather鈥� covering them up.鈥�
Then there鈥檚 the icon of a shared file folder on his OS X Macintosh system. Now that Robert has high-resolution screens, he asks, 鈥渄o I need an icon of 鈥榬ecycled鈥� cardboard, inclusive of fibres and grit?鈥�
鈥淢aybe I should write a book on regression in computer interfaces,鈥� Robert muses. As he just happens to be co-inventor of the World Wide Web, he is qualified, but can readers help him with a title for this phenomenon? Looking for a sciency word, Feedback has tried to discover the Ancient Greek for 鈥済ratuitously broken鈥�, and failed.
鈥淛ohn King is puzzled by a message telling him to obtain equipment to receive digital television before his analogue transmitter is turned off 鈥� shown on a digital channel鈥�
THE UK鈥檚 Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has provided entertaining reading (4 June), and continues. Rupert Roker notes 鈥渢he rather wonderful claim鈥� that 鈥淟iquid Chlorophyll is the most potent blood cleanser and deodorizer. Liquid Chlorophyll has the identical chemical structure to haemoglobin in blood. The only difference being the central atom in blood being iron and Chlorophyll鈥檚 central atom being magnesium.鈥� This appears in in the online shop . The ASA has judged at that it 鈥渕ade medicinal claims for an unlicensed product鈥�, and that 鈥渢he ad must not appear again in its current form鈥�. So what form will it take?.
NORMALLY delightfully sober, the Financial Times exploring the wilder shores of the imagination of Steve Hilton, strategy director to the British prime minister and husband of Rachel Whetstone, global head of public policy for a Famous Web-Search Engine. 鈥淔riends of Hilton鈥� confirmed that he had suggested suspending all consumer-rights legislation for nine months 鈥渢o see what would happen鈥�.
These friends added that when his party was in opposition Hilton had proposed buying cloud-busting technology to provide the UK with more sunshine.
Many UK papers gleefully copied this, but we have found none asking the essential sciency question. Was Hilton referring to the slightly unproven technology of 鈥渟eeding鈥� clouds with, for example, silver iodide crystals?
Or was he proposing, more worryingly, the utterly hatstand 鈥渃loud-buster鈥� based on the 鈥渙rgone energy鈥� theory of Wilhelm Reich, popularised by one Kate Bush (a popular wailer, Your Honour)?
And might it be, as is so often the case with anonymous confirmations, that Hilton is, as it were, his own friends? Steve, perhaps you could call on a friend to tell us your take on the mysteries of the orgone鈥�
Tax downloadable rice in the European Union鈥� just to see what happens
IT鈥橲 possible that Hilton is not a close friend of the Steve Hilton Policy Generator, which appeared at very soon after the Financial Times story mentioned above. 鈥淎bolish global warming to harness the power of information, man,鈥� is one of the many proclamations it offers us.
WASHING instruction labels can be confusing, with strange icons that could mean almost anything. This matters, because the wrong heat or additives can wreck favourite clothes. So a friend of Feedback was pleasantly surprised to see a label with clear advice on a kitchen apron made by Denny鈥檚 Uniforms. 鈥�100 per cent Polyester,鈥� it said. 鈥淯se detergent with active whitener.鈥�
The apron was jet black.聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽
A PLUG in the BBC magazine Radio Times teeters on the edge of sense, then falls off: 鈥淭he nation鈥檚 waterways are perfect for exploring by car whatever the weather,鈥� it tells us. 鈥淎 drive along one of the country鈥檚 many rivers or canals in summer is great for lapping up lush scenery and flowers in bloom鈥︹��
The car being plugged is called, appropriately, the Suzuki Splash.
FINALLY, just before you reach the collection booths on Oklahoma turnpikes, Robert Avakian tells us, you pass beneath signs declaring 鈥淔ailure to Pay Toll Strictly Enforced鈥�. Robert says he has, despite this, yet to be arrested for successfully paying a toll.