Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
God Particles for sale
鈥淪INCE the beginning of time, mankind has sought to fully understand the laws by which our universe works,鈥� it says on the website we鈥檙e reading. This site hails the discovery of the Higgs Boson, which it insists on calling 鈥渢he God Particle鈥� despite our report that physicist Leon Lederman preferred 鈥渢he goddam particle鈥� (25 February 2012).
Then it brings us the news that parts of the CERN accelerator 鈥渆xposed to the surge of energy which showed substantial evidence of having the God Particle鈥� were sent to 鈥渢he leading universities and research centers in the world鈥�.
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And what did they allegedly find? That 鈥渢he energy of the God Particle has some amazing effects on migraine prevention, on treating different kinds of skin conditions, up to a surprising improvement among those who [were] ailing from sexual dysfunction disorders鈥�.
To share in these literally incredible benefits, for $199 you can get a spherical pendant, supposedly from a 鈥渂earing鈥� in the CERN accelerator spirited away by 鈥渁 maintenance team鈥�, from . Feedback certainly hopes this isn鈥檛 true, since CERN鈥檚 real maintenance team 鈥渆quipment irradiated in or near the beams may become radioactive鈥�.
Shane Dwyer tells of an advertisement for Shark motorcycle helmets in Australian Motorcycle News: 鈥淎nti-noise neckpad: 鈥�4.5dB (A 300 per cent reduction in noise level)鈥�. That really is quiet
Convert cups to millilitres
READER Ray Husthwaite needed to convert the ingredients in an American recipe from cups of cream to millilitres, so he tried , which told him 鈥� spelled the American way 鈥� that 鈥�1 Cup = 236.58823625 Milliliters鈥�.
Ray鈥檚 recipe required only a quarter of a cup of cream, so he put in 鈥�0.25鈥� and hit 鈥淐onvert to Milliliters鈥�. The conversion came out at 鈥�59.147059062500006 Milliliters鈥�. Ray wonders how he might manage this degree of precision 鈥� to roughly the nearest femtogram 鈥� in his kitchen.
Phantom conference paper
LAST year, we reported on calls to present papers at 鈥渟camferences鈥� and how one such 鈥渃onference鈥� eagerly accepted a paper signed by Phil Clapham鈥檚 dog (18 August 2012). They keep coming.
Those behind the for Education, purportedly to be held this December in Singapore, are even more eager. They inform us that 鈥渢he acceptance notification has been sent鈥oday鈥�, suggesting we check our email spam folder for the good news.
Alas, neither of our filing systems, paper or electronic, has any trace of any submission to this conference. The dog insists he sent nothing.
This looks like a new twist on scamference spam, targeting professors who are even more absent-minded than Feedback.
Is this the real thing?
THERE is a conference, organised for November in Hong Kong by the . It has a rather more convincing website than the alleged event mentioned above. It is at a hotel that appears to exist. We鈥檙e starting to be sceptical of every conference, though.
Edinburgh鈥檚 top jokes
A LIST of the , as voted for by critics and fans at the , the annual arts jamboree in Scotland鈥檚 capital, sparked controversy when only men were honoured. It took Feedback reader Guy Robinson to note that, less controversially, two of the winning jokes were science-based.
We particularly liked this from : 鈥淭he universe implodes. No matter.鈥�
Feedback, having experienced the Fringe, would not necessarily recommend to female physicists that they spend 10 days next year staying in an overpriced cupboard and drinking too much. But stardom is surely calling.
Up to no good
INNOVATION in marketing is ceaseless. Feedback has oft noted the usefully uncertain meaning of the qualifier 鈥渦p to鈥�. Now Gavin McEwan sends a photo of a poster in the window of TK Maxx (a purveyor of clothing), claiming: 鈥淎lways up to 60 per cent less.鈥�
Assuming that the reference point is the manufacturer鈥檚 recommended retail price, Gavin reads this as a firm promise that everything inside bears a price between 0.4 RRP and infinity, but not less.
Purely in the interests of exploring natural-language epistemology, he ventured inside and bought a pair of jeans reduced from 拢110 to 拢18 鈥� as he says, 鈥�83.6 per cent less鈥�.
Richard Lucas follows up with an advert for the Sony Xperia Z smartphone that proudly announces that it is 鈥渨ater resistant up to 1 metre for under 30 minutes鈥�. We can think of no way of falsifying this claim.
Furry and intelligent
FINALLY, north-eastern England made the news over the summer 鈥渟illy season鈥� when a member of the UK House of Lords implied that its desolation made it suitable for fracking oil and gas. Tony Compton sends evidence from Hexham, Northumberland, that they have not only scenic spots, but also 鈥渟ome very intelligent furry animals鈥�. This takes the form of a beautifully hand-lettered sign, photographed at Howick Hall in Northumberland, that reads: 鈥淩abbits and Hares this gate must be kept shut.鈥�