Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Mega devaluation
鈥淢EGA鈥� as a prefix seems to be suffering devaluation. James Kennedy saw a sign at a BP outlet offering 鈥�50 million megapoints鈥� on the Nectar scheme. We find the same incentive on a website called 鈥� though not on the official Nectar site.
James points out that because these 鈥減oints鈥� are redeemable in a major supermarket chain for 拢0.005, the alleged offer is worth 拢250 billion. That鈥檚 enough to run the UK National Health Service for two-and-a-half years, so 鈥減erhaps government ministers should all pop out to fill their tanks,鈥� he says.
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Belatedly, the Mediterranean Wetlands newsletter alerted Chris Feare to a 鈥淓uropean Otter Training Course鈥� that took place in March. 鈥淲hat,鈥� he asks, 鈥渨ould they have learned?鈥�
Magnetic repulsion
READER Paul Brown sends us a quote from a website he came across. 鈥淵ou need a blueprint, an architecture designed for greatness,鈥� we are told at . 鈥淢eet Magnetic Pill,鈥� it continues, 鈥渢he most well designed, technologically advanced, scientifically proven, compilation of forward-thinking ingredients strategically built into the shape of a pill.鈥�
鈥淭here鈥檚 lots more,鈥� Paul assures us. A quick read confirms that, and shows that here we are dealing with an advanced case of fruitloopery.
鈥淢agnetic Therapy has far reaching benefits that have been proven to heal, rejuvenate, and expand potential of the human body and mind,鈥� the website proclaims. 鈥淎nd now you can easily benefit from several of these same benefits鈥� The Magnetitum Extract in conjunction with Magnesium dial into your body鈥檚 magnetic fields providing an amazingly simple solution to several complex problems.鈥�
And so on. We remain puzzled by 鈥渕agnetitum extract鈥�, having discovered that 鈥渕agnetitum鈥� is . So is the extract iron, or oxygen, then? We would recommend you have a read, but after a point nonsense becomes depressing 鈥� especially when it is trying to sell something.
New dimensions of heritage
THE National Trust in the UK exists to 鈥渓ook after places of historic beauty permanently鈥�. Member and Feedback reader Jonathon Loose was therefore a little startled to see the Trust鈥檚 director-general, Helen Ghosh, declare in the Autumn 2013 edition of the members鈥� bulletin that 鈥渢he year has also taught me that the Trust works in two time dimensions鈥�.
Feedback is tempted to introduce Helen to , a physicist at the University of Southern California and one of those who has been working on just that kind of universe. But鈥� how much historic impact would such a meeting have 鈥� and would it be beautiful?
Physics in pink
ON THE topic of dimensions, Danny Davis asks: 鈥淲ho says you can鈥檛 get leading edge physics toys for girls?鈥� He produces a photo of a 鈥淩hinestone rings鈥� kit that promises the proud owners can 鈥渕ake 6 dimensional, layered flower rings鈥�.
Wood, you believe it?
SEVERAL readers think they understand the sign reported by Stephen Stent from New Zealand, reading 鈥淒RY T-TREE FIREWOOD NZ$100 CM2鈥� (Feedback, 12 October). 鈥淲hat can that possibly mean?鈥� we asked 鈥� which we now realise was tempting fate.
Yes, Feedback was aware that it probably referred to wood from the tea tree, Melaleuca alternifolia, having encountered people who swear by its oil as a 鈥渘atural鈥� 鈥� if, to some, nasally corrosive 鈥� antiseptic. And, possibly, the sign was advertising the wood by the cubic metre, as suggested by Anthony Battersby, but that would either make 鈥淐M2鈥� a six-dimensional measure, or make the wood rather cheap, or both.
Frog Twissell ingeniously suggests that the seller envisages the wood being burned and appreciates that burning happens on the surface, so is selling it by the square centimetre. At NZ$100 per unit, this would make it rather expensive, except that deep thought about the mathematics of the sign reveals that the sellers are 鈥渢houghtfully making the price inversely proportional to the area purchased鈥� 鈥� since the price as written implies NZ$100 times CM2, not per CM2.
Matter in a jar
DARK matter is an enduring mystery, regularly discussed in these pages (31 August, p 36, for example). David Levien thinks he may be able to explain where some of it is lurking 鈥� and suggests that it is orange, not black. He sends a photo of a jar of marmalade 鈥渉andmade鈥� on a farm in Oxfordshire鈥�. The label lists the ingredients as 鈥淔ruit 45g/100g, Sugar 65g/100g.鈥� This seems to mean that every jar contains an extra 10 grams of matter jammed into our universe.
Before you write in: yes, it has occurred to us that the mechanism by which the extra matter is apparently crammed into the jar may involve the evaporation of water. Have any puzzled cosmologists thought of looking on the kitchen ceiling?
Signed and delivered
FINALLY, the membership renewal form for a local UK family history society that we discussed on 12 October asked: 鈥淗ave you signed the ?鈥�
Andy Ball observes that only one person has signed this Act 鈥渁nd it鈥檚 unlikely that Her Majesty has anything more to learn about her family history鈥�.