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Put bread on your head

IN RECENT months we have often reported on so-called 鈥淣igerian鈥 scams (3 May), also known as 鈥419鈥 scams because they are illegal under Section 419 of the Nigerian penal code. The origin of these endeavours goes back a lot further than you might think. Conned, a history of scamming by James Morton and Hilary Bateson, tells how the greedy and gullible have been falling for much the same trick for more than 100 years. In 1905 a prisoner in a Spanish jail was mailing out letters asking for cash to retrieve impounded luggage containing details of a secret bank account in the UK.

We hadn鈥檛 realised that in China 419 scammers can expect the death penalty, nor that in the US there is a provision for claiming tax relief on money lost to scammers. For us, however, the book鈥檚 most interesting story is of a Brit who routinely responds to scammers by asking them to prove their identity by emailing back a photo of themselves holding a fish while balancing a loaf of bread on their head and wearing a sign round their neck saying 鈥減lonker鈥. For those who need a translation of this Britishism, that鈥檚 the equivalent of 鈥渄rongo鈥 in Australia and 鈥渂onehead鈥 in the US.

鈥淭his week鈥檚 award for self-contradiction goes to the TLCS global visa service, which sent Stephen Burt an email saying: 鈥淭his email has been sent from donotreply@tlcs.co.uk. Please reply to this if you require any assistance鈥

Scammer innumeracy

MEANWHILE, Jim Palfreyman says that while the sum he was offered in a scam didn鈥檛 come close to the 拢100 trillion dangled in front of Alec Burnett by one Louisa Christopher (3 May), it was possibly more interestingly described: 鈥淭his is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Nine Hundred and Two Thousand Great Britain Pounds (GBP 900,2000) for the 2008 New Year Prize Promotion which is Organized by Yahoo United Kingdom.鈥

Gold-plated sound

FOLLOWING our story about the UK Advertising Standards Authority not accepting claims that hi-fi cables made from woven wires give a better sound (10 May), James McMillan tells us he is puzzled by the blurb for a 鈥淒igital Audio Optical Lead鈥 sold by electronics store Maplin. An optical lead carries digital audio as light pulses from one piece of hi-fi equipment to another, and usually has plastic plug connectors at each end. boasts 鈥24k gold plated connectors鈥. This, apparently, 鈥済ives a better connection鈥.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know gold was a good conductor of light,鈥 McMillan observes. Nor did Feedback, so we went to Maplin鈥檚 to buy one of the leads and ask why putting some gold on a plastic plug that holds an optical fibre was a good thing. 鈥淕old is better than silver,鈥 we were told, leaving us as puzzled as McMillan.

Furthermore, Maplin鈥檚 website reassures anyone wanting to connect a lot of cables together that this isn鈥檛 a problem: 鈥淭here is no loss with optical cables so there is no maximum length.鈥 Although we were prepared to pay 拢15 for a 75-centimetre lead to scrutinise the gold connectors, we don鈥檛 feel able to buy a thousand of them to put this intriguing information to the test.

Tautologies rule

NOTING our report on Limbitin, a medicine that is 鈥渃onsumed orally through the mouth鈥 (29 March), Glenn Brunson observes how easily this sort of redundancy can become embedded in our everyday language. He points to such expressions as 鈥渇ree gift鈥 and 鈥減re-planning鈥 as examples that have become so common we don鈥檛 notice them any more.

Perhaps staff at Lewisham railway station in south-east London should take his message to heart. Elizabeth Brett tells us that major works are taking place there. The main forecourt has been fenced off, but a notice informs users that the station can be accessed via a 鈥淧edestrian Walking Route鈥.

Say that again?

PRESUMABLY there are people out there for whom the title of a paper noticed by Mike Wade is a model of simplicity and clarity. We can only say: hats off to them! For ourselves, the wording of 鈥淐hronomics, neuroendocrine feedsidewards and the recording and consulting of nowcasts 鈥 forecasts of geomagnetics鈥 (Biomedicine and Pharmacotherapy, vol 59, p 24) is pretty opaque.

Dinosaur dung

WHY did the owner of an Ohio pet-supply company plop down $960 to buy a lump of 130-million-year-old dinosaur dung at an auction in New York in April?

鈥淧oop is a big business in the pet industry,鈥 said Steve Tsengas, owner of OurPets, which makes bags for collecting dog waste and a self-cleaning cat litter tray.

Palaeontologists call lumps of fossil dung 鈥渃oprolites鈥, and study them to learn what animals ate. But Tsengas is simply going to show off his new acquisition at trade shows and use it in unspecified ways to motivate his employees. Perhaps he intends to challenge them to develop a poop scoop fit for cleaning up after a dinosaur.

End in sight

FINALLY, written on the packet of guitar strings Tom Sharp bought were the words: 鈥淩otosound strings are manufactured in England and are subject to finite quality control.鈥

This is fortunate, Sharp observes, 鈥渁s otherwise they would never leave the factory鈥.

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